Sunday, December 11, 2011

Can a man just lust a woman and not fall in love?

I have a friend that I have fallen in love with. We have been together for over two years. He said he cares about me very much but does not think he is capable of loving a woman. He said he lusts for them. He told me way in advance not to fall in love with him. I tried to understand his reasons and of course there is more to this then you all know. My question is more for MEN to answer. How can you be so close and intimate with a woman and not adventually fall in love? I am not putting my life on hold for him, my options are open here. I also love him to the point of not wanting to be with anyone else. He is only with me but he keeps telling me it is only temporary. I keep thinking that maybe one day he will see the light and the love will shine through. Most woman on here will tell me to stop wasting my time. I don't consider it a waste even if he never falls for me. I just want to know how it is possible to only lust and not love.Can a man just lust a woman and not fall in love?
Ok, previous answers aside, I believe that it is entirely possible to not be able to love, truly love, someone else. Whatever his issue is, and believe me there IS an issue, you aren't going to be able to change him, unless you're persistant in small ways about showing love and what love is.



It may be, for him, that he feels he cannot make a lifetime commitment, and would rather not drag you into a marriage only to want a divorce when he feels that its time to move on.



If you care about him, stay with him and enjoy his company as long as it lasts. But realize, the odds are 99/100 that it WILL end, and you will probably be slightly hurt. Prepare for it, and you'll be fine.Can a man just lust a woman and not fall in love?
It's possible...
Well personally, I don't really get intimate with a girl unless I have feelings for her.



But I don't think it's possible to be incapable of loving someone. We as humans love, it's what we do.
Is it at school? Because maybe he would like to have a relationship for fun during school, but not after.
oh...man wat a hard situation to be in. plain and simple his scared to fall in love because he doesn't wanna get his lil heart broken. And good for ya on not regretting this situation.

Lust will always be there but really you should be with someone who'll love you back.

It's easier for guys to lust over a girl rather than love.
Hi Sally

Take a look at what he has done for you. Does it show love or just lust, despite his words? He may be just saying that he cant love when he can but doesn't want to out of fear or just doesn't want to tell you out of again, fear of what it could lead to. He may have fear of change, loss, getting hurt, being out of control. I am just saying that Fear may be the reason he is fighting his feelings. Email me!
  • advice my marriage
  • I love this girl.help.?

    im completley straight.

    with one exeption.

    i love men,but i think i love her too.

    what do you make of this:



    we started talking quite alot and became close.

    last night she stayed at my house .

    we were drinking.

    before we drunk we had 2 ciggarettes in my garden

    after inhaling a drag,i leaned forward .

    to my apsolute amazement so did she

    i gave her a blow back

    we went inside and began to drank.

    we were sat on the bed on skypecall to a guy called jake.

    tilting the laptop the other way, she leaned over and quickly kissed me , just once.

    i was going to do something after that,to keep it going.

    but i got the butterflies so much i thought i was going to be sick

    i am in love with her.

    in actuall love with her.

    shes coming round my house in a weeks time.

    how do i make things go the way i want this time?

    were both 18 by the way.



    Additional Details :

    how do i get rid of that feeling that im going to be sick because of the butterflys and nerves?I love this girl.help.?
    Okay so if you like men and women, you're bisexual or maybe not. So I am assessing what you have written there and it sounds to me that you get the butterflies as a self defense system because to you girls are gross and men are wonderful so your body is not allowing it to happen and you just found yourself a new best friend. Or you are bisexual and swing both ways. You should tell her how you feel about her and try to take it a step further except this time don't get drunk and see how that turns out. Try to do it without any influence to see how you feel. If you feel awkward with her then you don't swing both ways and you're just going to have to stick with men. Hope this helped.I love this girl.help.?
    just do it.
    First of all, you can't call yourself ';straight'; if you feel you are in love with this girl.

    There is nothing wrong with being lesbian or bisexual, you just have to accept it.

    If you really care about her and want the butterflies to go away, tell her how you feel. If she reciprocates, you should feel less nervous and be able to kiss her.
    ask her out! ur always gunna have butterflys.
    R u planning on having sex or not?
    If she was drunk and didnt remember dont worry about it i wouldnt get into it but do what you want
    you are not straight. dont say that you are... there is nothing wrong with being bisexual. i know what just happened- you read that and thought, ';this answer is stupid. i am straight!'; no.. you aren't. but there's nothing wrong with it. go for it if you feel it is mutual :)
    um...

    to get rid of the feeling, tell her how you feel

    im preety sure thats why you feel sick cuz u have feelings for her and your scared of what she might think if you be all serious and stuff.
    The butterflies were probably because you were nervous about being with a girl. If you love her, wait to spend time with her until you think she feels the same way and then tell her how you feel.
    Answer: If you two can go in your pants and throw up together at the same time and laugh about it in front of each other, then it is true love and you do not have to ever worry about being embarrassed about anything ever again. So go for it and see what happens.
    Saying you're completely straight isnt being truthful to yourself. If you're bisexual, then you're bisexual!! It sound like this chic likes you too. My advice, dont put on a front. If she kissed you, that means she likes you for who you are. So if you start acting like someone else, she might not like you anymore because it would be as if she was kissing someone else. Just be yourself. As for those darn butterflies, set the on fire!! LOL You're just shy. Thats all. And shy is cute.

    Are These The Best Man's Answers To Every Question A Woman Ever Asks?

    Man's Answers To Every Question A Woman Ever Asks?







    1. Why are men such jerks?



    It's a testosterone thing. Much similar to your PMS thing, we men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average life span of a male is typically 10 years shorter (and it's not just from all the bitching and nagging we have to endure)? Hormone modifies behaviour. We're just misunderstood.



    2. Why do men always have to ogle other women?



    Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think that all the testosterone just fell out of our bodies the moment we met you? Besides, women do it as well. Women are just much better at not getting caught. I'm fairly certain it's some sort of photographic memory deal. Women take one quick look and memorize it for later reference. Since men lack this ability, we try to burn it into our memory by staring as much as we can.



    3. Why do men always touch themselves, especially in public?



    We occasionally need to adjust our little friend and make him happy. It's much like adjusting your bra. Being in public is just an added bonus.



    4. Why do men always say such stupid things?



    We like to. It's actually a whole lot of fun to see our partner frustrated by a few simple (and well chosen) words.



    5. Why are men so uncommunicative?



    You'd learn to keep your big mouth shut too if every time you open it you get into trouble with your partner.



    6. Why do men have to act like such retards?



    Well, we don't actually have to; we do it because we enjoy it. It's the old fashioned pride in a job well done that's missing in so much of the world nowadays.



    7. Why can't men just share their feelings?



    Do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand that men and women are different? How are we supposed to share how we feel when we have no idea how we feel? Unless we're experiencing some extreme emotion like rage, hatred, disgust, or a brick on our foot, we have no idea how we feel. Personally, I get a headache whenever I try to figure out how I feel.



    8. Why can't men cuddle more (IE lie down and hug)?



    Please... How many hours do you think there are in a day? We oblige you as much as we can, but who the hell (besides women) can stand lying around for hours on end? We men... Men hunters... Need go roam... Starve in cave... Must go find wildebeest... Now sitting on our asses for hours on end on the other hand is a whole other story.



    9. How can men sit on their asses all day without moving?



    Men have very powerful sets of sitting muscles developed by evolution that enable us to sit for extended periods of time without getting tired. In prehistoric times, it was often necessary to sit in one spot for extended periods of time while hunting for prey. The more successful hunters were able to sit very still for very extended periods of time thereby passing on this ability to their progeny. The fidgety types were all gobbled up by saber toothed tigers etc. The end result is that almost all modern men are born with this innate ability.



    10. Why can't men just say ';I LOVE YOU?';



    Men are taught from a tender young age to be self sufficient. To say that we love you is equivalent to saying that we need you. Most men consider that a character fault. It's not easy to admit to one's own character faults.



    11. Why do men say ';I LOVE YOU'; when they hardly know me? Ho, Ho, Ho... Aren't you special?



    Well, some men think it's a sure fire way to get into your pants. Surprisingly, it actually still works quite well.



    12. Why doesn't my partner ever answer me?



    We just simply don't have the energy to answer every single one of your questions. If we think we do not have the answer, or that you will not like the answer, we simply remain quiet and save the energy for other things.



    13. Why won't men ever pick up after themselves?



    Why should we? It doesn't really bother us that much. Besides, we know darn well you'll pick it up.



    14. What's with all the belching and farting?



    This usually only occurs after months of courting. It's our way to let you know that we're comfortable with you. Believe it or not, it's actually a sign of affection. Besides, holding it for extended periods of time gives us stomach cramps.



    15. Why do men hate shopping?



    It's an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather. We just want to go out, kill it, and bring it back. Who wants to spend hours and hours to look at things we have no intention of killing? Err... buying?





    Are These The Best Man's Answers To Every Question A Woman Ever Asks?
    I don't have any of these problems as my wife and I have only ever had one arguement. It started on our wedding day and ......Are These The Best Man's Answers To Every Question A Woman Ever Asks?
    LOL excellent . Have a star. Glad some men have a sense of humour
    That pretty much sums me up. Lol.
    i much prefer the company of a man anytime to a woman. men enjoy shopping in amsterdam i noticed
    Haha. Love it. x]

    Makes me dread getting a BF though.
    Yea, sure, great answers--if you want to never have the love of a good woman, if you never want a real and serious relationship with a woman, if you want to pay for sex all the time. And if you do somehow fool a woman into marrying you, you'll have one unhappy woman on your hands and everyone knows if your woman is unhappy, everyone is unhappy. Good luck. Your list was obviously created by a man who has never had a close relationship with a woman.
    PMSL!!! Very good :))
    Excellent especially point #8.

    Why did God make it so that men like girls so much?

    Let me first acknowledge, so that there can be no doubts about it, that I know men and women have to mutually feel attraction to each other in order for procreation to happen and for the continuation of the human race. I know that it is in a family's best interest for the husband and wife to feel undue attraction for each other in order to preserve the indivisibility of the family and to make it a loving and caring unit, helping each and every one of its members. However, I do believe that the degrees of propensities between the two sexes could verily use an overhaul and perhaps become much more equalized than they already are.



    The magnitude and characteristics of the woman's libido for men is perfect as it is. It exists, it is strong, and it serves to keep women interested in men and make them willing to stay and preserve a conjugal and familial union. The problem lies in the masculine libido for women. For some reason, in addition to all the characteristics of the woman's libido, this libido is so powerful and conquering that it often blockades a man's reasoning abilities and forces him to do nefarious actions, such as rape and dating abuse, that he otherwise would not be wont to do. And it does not have anything to do with a girl's pulchritude as this would be resorting to propter hoc ergo sic id stat. What humanity needs is a quid pro quo. It would be better if God had made men love girls in much the same as girls love men. Not only would this serve to decimate current rates of rape and other erogenous-linked crimes, but it would also propitiate the human race in that there would be a much greater feeling of equality between the two sexes. If we had a quid pro quo, then it would be as justified and prima facie understandable as in the case of two different commercial banks. Each bank possesses a foreign currency that they do not need for a domestic transaction yet are bereft of the domestic currency that they so desperately need. According to the foreign exchange rate, and for the mutual benefit and satisfaction of both banks, they trade the currencies and afterward each possesses the same net amount of money although now they have obtained more efficacy and power. What the human race does not want for its coitus is what we currently have where men feel so much more attraction and pleasure in perceiving girls than girls do so to men. It is almost like a scenario where there is an unwritten law that women should give fifty percent tips to male waiters meanwhile males should only give ten percent tips to female waiters. If we really wanted equality between the sexes there would have to be conspicuous equality in this respect too.



    The point of the last paragraph was to illustrate to you how ridiculous the situation currently stands. Now it would be fitting and decent for you to provide a logical explanation as to how it is good and proper for God to bestow such a strong pull and attraction for girls in the minds and souls of men. Please read the entire question before you answer and do not be unethical in your answers. I want no sarcastic remarks or ad hominem attacks. You can definitely disagree and I encourage you to do so but keep it respectful and within the guidelines of an actual conversation between two persons.



    Warning: Many of the views expressed in this question and explanation are not reflective of the views of the author. The intent of this question is to provoke dialogue. Why did God make it so that men like girls so much?
    Rape and date abuse are not ';libido'; based. Rape is an act of aggression and power.



    Rapists hate women, not love them.



    What distinguishes humans from the rest of the animal kingdom is the ability to reason, rather than simply follow biological impulses.



    It is true the sex drive is the strongest drive there is in both men and women. Why did God make it so that men like girls so much?
    He didn't. Nature did so we can procreate.
    Look mommy I'm on the computer
    To give himself an excuse to hate homosexuals.
    Is this a question or just a place for you to vent your empty thoughts?



    This is so long I don't think you are going to have a person even begin to read it.
    because if it wasn't for us women men would never survive lol
    i wish so that my man would like me
    Dude to frickin long.



    Why God did it, I don't know he just did. Thats the only logical answer your going to get. Ask the lord himself.



    Twiztidforlife
    Is to make baby.
    soo im not gonna read your long paragraphs sooo. this is my answer to jsut your question.

    why should't he have made men love women soo much. dont you wish someone would love you soooo much
    I think more people would understand what you're saying if you provided latin to english translations for all the people who didn't take latin in high school.



    And besides, it's all hormones. Some guys just have too much. =[



    And besides, this is all because of biological evolution, which is also the reason we are so fat (our ancestors = the more the ate, the better their chances of survival). Our brains are just wired to think this way.
    cause women are the greatest creatures on the planet.
    He didn't. Some men like other men and some men like both.
    god does stuff for different reasons
    God wants husbands and wives to have lots of sex.



    %26gt;%26gt;%26gt;so powerful and conquering that it often blockades a man's reasoning abilities and forces him to do nefarious actions, such as rape and dating abuse,%26lt;%26lt;%26lt;



    No, the male sex drive doesn't force a man to rape anyone. I've only had sex with my wife thank you very much.
    Um, so we could continue to exist...
    Women are nurturing supporters (motherly) and Men are providers (worker bees). Together they balance and make life a little less hectic and frightening. As far as one loving the other more, I feel its two different loves. Neither can experience the others love, it just has to be excepted. Love is love and trying to put a score on it is a waste of time.

    I hate her! I hate her! What do I do to keep from committing mass sororicide!?

    I despise my mother with an unbelievable hatred. An undeniable fury that could send a Viking running in terror. I can't take this anymore. She is the most hateful, deceitful, self-loving, self-pitying person I have ever met. Let me explain.





    She, in the past four years, has developed a taste for alcohol. Ah, I remember mixing her Martinis and listening intently as she described why she is such an amazing mother, the parenting prowess of those who shunned her unparalleled to her own. Why men are dogs, and should be treated as lesser beings far less intelligent than her. It was alright for a while. But, alas, my father hated it. He would insult me when I came in the room, insult me every day, he'd scream and grab me, call me a ';stinking drunk';....But it was okay. Because ';mother'; was ';truthful';. ';Mother'; was ';honest';. Nope. One night she got really, really tanked. She told me stories about how her father kicked her to pieces, her mother beat her with a broom, and her uncle molested her. I was so frantic and upset that I cracked a ceramic pot over my head until it cracked. Then I swallowed a handful of sleeping pills. Being ten...I wasn't the smartest when it came to suicide. It didn't work. And a few days later...When I asked her about the stories...She said I was ';lying';. That she exaggerated. That her father once hit her brother over the head with a broom, and kicked her once when she was being a brat.





    I never trusted her again. She became belligerent, drank more, started hitting me a few times...Nothing hard, just really bad swings. A couple times she clonked me in the nose. Then we moved. Constant insults, constant misery, nightly drinking, daily arguments. Needless to say I lost my mind. My dad has become a lot better...But her....She's disgusting. A sweaty, burnt leather sack wrapped around 280 pounds of charred lungs, a filthy liver, and fat. She never takes care of herself, wearing the same sickening sweat pants and near-transparent shirt every day.....She always smells like sweat and tobacco...Gah. She talks about my dad and I behind our backs to her parents, says that he causes her alcoholism, that we're the scum of the earth. Yeah...he's causing it alright...Going out of his way to buy her a 40$ bottle of Scotch. Oh no, my grandparents do it too. ';Most miserable people I've ever met.';, ';I think you should just get a divorce.'; I CAN'T STAND IT!





    And now...This surgery brings nothing but joy. She likes to withhold my pills, you see. And when I fall from the pain she likes to make bitchy comments and go out for a smoke, leaving me on the floor. And at night...Well...If I have to pee? Or if I'm dizzy from dehydration? Just have to wait till' the sun comes up so Daddy can help me, because God knows drunky has to stumble to bed. Or the Den floor. Whichever hits her first. And hah...If it wasn't for my daddy...Well, I'd probably die of starvation/dehydration in a puddle of my own urine on the bedroom floor. God bless the man. He loves her though...Which I could never understand. Why would he love her? She says she hates him! Gah!





    And she is so humiliating, I was a late bed wetter, so now that every time I sit on a couch or chair she always....ALWAYS...Makes some comment. ';Oh-...Sweeeetie pie, get off the couchy-poo before you make pee-pees.';, ';Oh do you want me to put the pad-dy down in case you poo-poo? Daddy would be very angry if you made wetties on his chair.'; It's humiliating. I feel like a toddler. She...She...I just wish she would go live somewhere else. In a convent, maybe. Yeah.








    I'm sorry about this everyone...I just needed to vent. If you have any suggestions about how to help the situation please chime in. If you have any criticisms do so too.I hate her! I hate her! What do I do to keep from committing mass sororicide!?
    Holy s--t. This may be an evil idea, but this sounds like a desperate situation. First, set up a hidden camera. Then, hide all of her alcohol, and tell her that you threw it away. Or, just be honest and tell her that you hid it. Make sure to tell her that you did it because you hate seeing her as an alcoholic. Now, at this moment, the situation will turn towards two possible endings. She will either realize that she has a problem and break down, or she will get mad and start engaging you. If she yells (which is guaranteed in the second situation), don't yell back. Try to be calm the whole time. Then, if I have analyzed her correctly, she will probably get physically violent with you. All you have to do is wait until she hits you a few times (not just slaps, but actual malicious punches) before running out of her reach. At that point, pull out the video camera, tell her that you have her physical abuse on tape, and then threaten to send it to the police. Then, immediately take the tape/memory chip to a trustworthy friend's house for safe keeping. By the way, don't tell her who has it.


    If you manage to do all of this, you will have successfully changed the status quo in the household, giving you power over her freedom. I must add, though, that you should only use the newfound power to curb her mental abuse. Do NOT abuse it to get special treatment or anything, because then you will be just as bad as her.I hate her! I hate her! What do I do to keep from committing mass sororicide!?
    You should start your own sorority.
    move.
    Since your dad is all better, your dad should get custody of you and you guys should move out. I don't understand how your dad could love a monstrous alcoholic. Your mom makes my mom look like the nicest mom in the world.





    If my advice doesn't work, then just destroy all the liquor before it reaches your ';mom';. If that doesn't work either, get a therapist or social worker to help you out.





    It seems like your ';mom'; has some life issues to deal with. She needs help also. Also, killing yourself is not the answer.





    By the way, you spelled suicide wrong on your question. I guess your were really pissed off when you were typing. Just saying.





    I'm sorry all of this crap has happened to you. I hope you find some help. You have my deepest sympathies.





    VIVA LA RAZA!
    if your being serious about this





    you should get your mom help cause she sound like and alcoholic





    or at least talk to someone about this and get help, i know that you probably hate hearing this, but it does help. I used to be suicidal and have realized that talking about your problems with somebody you trust does work.





    If your still in school talk about it with your counselor who would be happy to help you with your family crisis





    i know this is answer might not be much but i hope that i at least helped you a little bit:)
    you and your father should try stop her from drinking by taking all her money from her by stealing.
    Hi, i really do feel for you, i'm wondering what age you are, and why you can't just move?





    I completley disagree that you should touch her alcohol, in the long run this makes no difference to and alcoholic. She will find more somehow at some point, she will only stop if she wants to, not because you do. The only way to help yourself is to get away from her and withdraw from her.





    My own mother is a recovering alcoholic for nearly 9 years, and was drinking for years before that, her last 5 being particularly miserable. She was humiliating, irritating, spiteful and cruel.





    It is an illness. Your mother is sick. It sounds like she has deep depression with her alcoholism and is treating you in this vile way because her life is so miserable that she wants your to be too. There is nothing that you can do to help her, you could tell her that you know that she is an alcoholic and that she needs help. Her reaction might not be good, but at least she knows that you know. Denial is one of the main reasons alcoholics can't stop drinking. They don't believe that's what they are. But make sure she knows that you KNOW that's what she is.





    Her treatment to you is cruel and inexcusable. You should try and get away from her. I don't know where your from but maybe you should contact social services if you are too young to live alone. Get help from someone, even if it is authorities. Any person with a sane state of mind can see that you are suffering from physical and mental abuse. You shouldn't be put through this, you are not responsible for her mistakes. If you can't move due to age you should be eligible for help from some sort of caring authority, especially in your circumstances.





    You may feel sorry for your father, but remember, although life may be pretty miserable for him too, he can leave if he wants, but he doesn't, he may not be ready to leave this situation which he has endured for so long, it's hard to understand but it's the way it can be unfortunately for people in destructive relationships. You have to try and concentrate on how to help yourself before you could possibly help anyone else. Just let him know that your there for him. But if you can get out you should. Your mother won't stop drinking unless she wants to and is ready to. Good luck.
    write a book! you're amazing. are you an author i swear i would read it.


    at school we just finished reading a book similar to this. abusive mother and stuff.
    I think you and your dad needs to encourage her to go to a rehabilitation center.
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  • Should I Let Him Go, Or Should I Keep Him?

    I have had a boyfriend for 3 1/2 years now. He is the man who made me realize how a woman should really be treated %26amp; how a woman should hold herself (class %26amp; respect). He used to treat me like a queen, hold my hand, want to touch me, kiss me %26amp; he loves being be around me. All of that has drastically changed. He barely looks at me, I try to get a kiss %26amp; he says ';I already gave you one earlier';, he barely talks to me, he says mean things to me %26amp; tries to cover it up with ';...I was just kidding...'; %26amp; we go weeks without having sex.

    I have started to feel undesirable %26amp; unattractive. I have become depressed %26amp; VERY lonely, I find myself crying everyday. Now I know the first recommendation would be to talk to him. Well I have many times. He says that he is just stressed out, or tired %26amp; that he is still attracted to me. These are valid reasons why there would be a change in behavior, but why towards me? I have done nothing but try to help him %26amp; support him through hard times %26amp; now that things are starting to look up, I'm getting completely getting shafted. I have become an empty shell of a person because the man I love has set the standards so high of how a man should be, %26amp; now has become the complete opposite.We have talked about it so many times %26amp; I have told him how I feel but nothing has changed. I am so fed up with feeling so low %26amp; there being no resolution that I may just want to end it. I don't know if I have the strength to break up with him but I don't want to feel like this anymore.Should I Let Him Go, Or Should I Keep Him?
    up to youShould I Let Him Go, Or Should I Keep Him?
    Who threw passion out with the bath water? Your own identity as a woman has to come from you. He forgot that women want 4 things: 1) to be held, 2) to be listened to, 3) to be loved unconditionally, and 4) to be shown passion. It is not just how you feel about him, but how he makes you feel about yourself.
    rock his world in bed..and i mean in every way..if that doesnt do it..hes either gay or doesnt want you anymore.
    honey get over hm..go some where without him...for a little while..and if he loves you he will come back to you..if not then he is not the right guy for you... and to be honest even though u proply hear this alot...but thr are alot of fish out there....and u will eventually find the right guy
    end it
    Well it must be very confusing. However, there are always periods - in a long-term relationship - when the infatuation, the 'being in love' feeling ends and something else needs to take place, which is real love, which is what we 'work on' every day with our spouse. The problem is that many people are not taught this (where would they?) and therefore they become very confused when they are 'hit' by this. The best solution is of course to go to therapy - marriage therapy - because just talking about it together will not solve it.



    If, however, the problem is only an external one, for example he's very stressed at work (but I don't think it's just that, but let's assume it is), you are the person who suffers the most because you are the person he comes back to - it is true that the closest person to us suffers our worst moods, whilst the stranger gets the best of us sometimes. It's just human nature, unfortunately, and again we need to be trained to avoid doing this for the sake of our relationships.



    A relationship that works needs to be worked on every day. You can also start yourself by reflecting on what you can do to improve the relationship. He may be surprised by YOUR change. But, if you can , go to marriage therapy or counseling, because it's the quickest way to resolve this before it's too late.
    girl you need to let him go.. NO GIRL DESERVES THAT!!

    you say that he is the one who taught you how a woman should be treated ,etc. and it is not like that! Letting him go will be hard but sometimes you need to think of yourself and know that you deserve to be treated better..he feels safe that your there and doesnt think you'll leave.or he's over it thinking he is bored or just being an a**hole. let him go and explain why '; [i] dont deserve to be treated like this, you once treated me with respect and i have now lost all respect for you...'; or something aalong those lines



    maybe/hopefully after realising what he lost he will grow up and realize what he has done and what caused it...





    hope it all works out!!
    You are just mirroring him. If he is stressed out and tired, you will feel stressed out and tired. Then that feeds back on him and he mirrors you.



    What you need is two boyfriends, or maybe just some more fun friends. Once you start having some fun, he will pick up on that energy, and work his way out of that rut by mirroring you. Just go out, have some fun, then share the energy.
    break up with him then get back together a day later maybe hell come to his senses i no its harder then it sounds but good luck
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  • Are These The Best Man's Answers To Every Question A Woman Ever Asks?

    Man's Answers To Every Question A Woman Ever Asks?







    1. Why are men such jerks?



    It's a testosterone thing. Much similar to your PMS thing, we men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average life span of a male is typically 10 years shorter (and it's not just from all the bitching and nagging we have to endure)? Hormone modifies behaviour. We're just misunderstood.



    2. Why do men always have to ogle other women?



    Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think that all the testosterone just fell out of our bodies the moment we met you? Besides, women do it as well. Women are just much better at not getting caught. I'm fairly certain it's some sort of photographic memory deal. Women take one quick look and memorize it for later reference. Since men lack this ability, we try to burn it into our memory by staring as much as we can.



    3. Why do men always touch themselves, especially in public?



    We occasionally need to adjust our little friend and make him happy. It's much like adjusting your bra. Being in public is just an added bonus.



    4. Why do men always say such stupid things?



    We like to. It's actually a whole lot of fun to see our partner frustrated by a few simple (and well chosen) words.



    5. Why are men so uncommunicative?



    You'd learn to keep your big mouth shut too if every time you open it you get into trouble with your partner.



    6. Why do men have to act like such retards?



    Well, we don't actually have to; we do it because we enjoy it. It's the old fashioned pride in a job well done that's missing in so much of the world nowadays.



    7. Why can't men just share their feelings?



    Do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand that men and women are different? How are we supposed to share how we feel when we have no idea how we feel? Unless we're experiencing some extreme emotion like rage, hatred, disgust, or a brick on our foot, we have no idea how we feel. Personally, I get a headache whenever I try to figure out how I feel.



    8. Why can't men cuddle more (IE lie down and hug)?



    Please... How many hours do you think there are in a day? We oblige you as much as we can, but who the hell (besides women) can stand lying around for hours on end? We men... Men hunters... Need go roam... Starve in cave... Must go find wildebeest... Now sitting on our asses for hours on end on the other hand is a whole other story.



    9. How can men sit on their asses all day without moving?



    Men have very powerful sets of sitting muscles developed by evolution that enable us to sit for extended periods of time without getting tired. In prehistoric times, it was often necessary to sit in one spot for extended periods of time while hunting for prey. The more successful hunters were able to sit very still for very extended periods of time thereby passing on this ability to their progeny. The fidgety types were all gobbled up by saber toothed tigers etc. The end result is that almost all modern men are born with this innate ability.



    10. Why can't men just say ';I LOVE YOU?';



    Men are taught from a tender young age to be self sufficient. To say that we love you is equivalent to saying that we need you. Most men consider that a character fault. It's not easy to admit to one's own character faults.



    11. Why do men say ';I LOVE YOU'; when they hardly know me? Ho, Ho, Ho... Aren't you special?



    Well, some men think it's a sure fire way to get into your pants. Surprisingly, it actually still works quite well.



    12. Why doesn't my partner ever answer me?



    We just simply don't have the energy to answer every single one of your questions. If we think we do not have the answer, or that you will not like the answer, we simply remain quiet and save the energy for other things.



    13. Why won't men ever pick up after themselves?



    Why should we? It doesn't really bother us that much. Besides, we know darn well you'll pick it up.



    14. What's with all the belching and farting?



    This usually only occurs after months of courting. It's our way to let you know that we're comfortable with you. Believe it or not, it's actually a sign of affection. Besides, holding it for extended periods of time gives us stomach cramps.



    15. Why do men hate shopping?



    It's an evolutionary thing. Men hunt. Women gather. We just want to go out, kill it, and bring it back. Who wants to spend hours and hours to look at things we have no intention of killing? Err... buying?





    Are These The Best Man's Answers To Every Question A Woman Ever Asks?
    I don't have any of these problems as my wife and I have only ever had one arguement. It started on our wedding day and ......Are These The Best Man's Answers To Every Question A Woman Ever Asks?
    LOL excellent . Have a star. Glad some men have a sense of humour
    That pretty much sums me up. Lol.
    i much prefer the company of a man anytime to a woman. men enjoy shopping in amsterdam i noticed
    Haha. Love it. x]

    Makes me dread getting a BF though.
    Yea, sure, great answers--if you want to never have the love of a good woman, if you never want a real and serious relationship with a woman, if you want to pay for sex all the time. And if you do somehow fool a woman into marrying you, you'll have one unhappy woman on your hands and everyone knows if your woman is unhappy, everyone is unhappy. Good luck. Your list was obviously created by a man who has never had a close relationship with a woman.
    PMSL!!! Very good :))
    Excellent especially point #8.

    Why did God make it so that men like girls so much?

    Let me first acknowledge, so that there can be no doubts about it, that I know men and women have to mutually feel attraction to each other in order for procreation to happen and for the continuation of the human race. I know that it is in a family's best interest for the husband and wife to feel undue attraction for each other in order to preserve the indivisibility of the family and to make it a loving and caring unit, helping each and every one of its members. However, I do believe that the degrees of propensities between the two sexes could verily use an overhaul and perhaps become much more equalized than they already are.



    The magnitude and characteristics of the woman's libido for men is perfect as it is. It exists, it is strong, and it serves to keep women interested in men and make them willing to stay and preserve a conjugal and familial union. The problem lies in the masculine libido for women. For some reason, in addition to all the characteristics of the woman's libido, this libido is so powerful and conquering that it often blockades a man's reasoning abilities and forces him to do nefarious actions, such as rape and dating abuse, that he otherwise would not be wont to do. And it does not have anything to do with a girl's pulchritude as this would be resorting to propter hoc ergo sic id stat. What humanity needs is a quid pro quo. It would be better if God had made men love girls in much the same as girls love men. Not only would this serve to decimate current rates of rape and other erogenous-linked crimes, but it would also propitiate the human race in that there would be a much greater feeling of equality between the two sexes. If we had a quid pro quo, then it would be as justified and prima facie understandable as in the case of two different commercial banks. Each bank possesses a foreign currency that they do not need for a domestic transaction yet are bereft of the domestic currency that they so desperately need. According to the foreign exchange rate, and for the mutual benefit and satisfaction of both banks, they trade the currencies and afterward each possesses the same net amount of money although now they have obtained more efficacy and power. What the human race does not want for its coitus is what we currently have where men feel so much more attraction and pleasure in perceiving girls than girls do so to men. It is almost like a scenario where there is an unwritten law that women should give fifty percent tips to male waiters meanwhile males should only give ten percent tips to female waiters. If we really wanted equality between the sexes there would have to be conspicuous equality in this respect too.



    The point of the last paragraph was to illustrate to you how ridiculous the situation currently stands. Now it would be fitting and decent for you to provide a logical explanation as to how it is good and proper for God to bestow such a strong pull and attraction for girls in the minds and souls of men. Please read the entire question before you answer and do not be unethical in your answers. I want no sarcastic remarks or ad hominem attacks. You can definitely disagree and I encourage you to do so but keep it respectful and within the guidelines of an actual conversation between two persons.



    Warning: Many of the views expressed in this question and explanation are not reflective of the views of the author. The intent of this question is to provoke dialogue. Why did God make it so that men like girls so much?
    Rape and date abuse are not ';libido'; based. Rape is an act of aggression and power.



    Rapists hate women, not love them.



    What distinguishes humans from the rest of the animal kingdom is the ability to reason, rather than simply follow biological impulses.



    It is true the sex drive is the strongest drive there is in both men and women. Why did God make it so that men like girls so much?
    He didn't. Nature did so we can procreate.
    Look mommy I'm on the computer
    To give himself an excuse to hate homosexuals.
    Is this a question or just a place for you to vent your empty thoughts?



    This is so long I don't think you are going to have a person even begin to read it.
    because if it wasn't for us women men would never survive lol
    i wish so that my man would like me
    Dude to frickin long.



    Why God did it, I don't know he just did. Thats the only logical answer your going to get. Ask the lord himself.



    Twiztidforlife
    Is to make baby.
    soo im not gonna read your long paragraphs sooo. this is my answer to jsut your question.

    why should't he have made men love women soo much. dont you wish someone would love you soooo much
    I think more people would understand what you're saying if you provided latin to english translations for all the people who didn't take latin in high school.



    And besides, it's all hormones. Some guys just have too much. =[



    And besides, this is all because of biological evolution, which is also the reason we are so fat (our ancestors = the more the ate, the better their chances of survival). Our brains are just wired to think this way.
    cause women are the greatest creatures on the planet.
    He didn't. Some men like other men and some men like both.
    god does stuff for different reasons
    God wants husbands and wives to have lots of sex.



    %26gt;%26gt;%26gt;so powerful and conquering that it often blockades a man's reasoning abilities and forces him to do nefarious actions, such as rape and dating abuse,%26lt;%26lt;%26lt;



    No, the male sex drive doesn't force a man to rape anyone. I've only had sex with my wife thank you very much.
    Um, so we could continue to exist...
    Women are nurturing supporters (motherly) and Men are providers (worker bees). Together they balance and make life a little less hectic and frightening. As far as one loving the other more, I feel its two different loves. Neither can experience the others love, it just has to be excepted. Love is love and trying to put a score on it is a waste of time.

    I hate her! I hate her! What do I do to keep from committing mass sororicide!?

    I despise my mother with an unbelievable hatred. An undeniable fury that could send a Viking running in terror. I can't take this anymore. She is the most hateful, deceitful, self-loving, self-pitying person I have ever met. Let me explain.





    She, in the past four years, has developed a taste for alcohol. Ah, I remember mixing her Martinis and listening intently as she described why she is such an amazing mother, the parenting prowess of those who shunned her unparalleled to her own. Why men are dogs, and should be treated as lesser beings far less intelligent than her. It was alright for a while. But, alas, my father hated it. He would insult me when I came in the room, insult me every day, he'd scream and grab me, call me a ';stinking drunk';....But it was okay. Because ';mother'; was ';truthful';. ';Mother'; was ';honest';. Nope. One night she got really, really tanked. She told me stories about how her father kicked her to pieces, her mother beat her with a broom, and her uncle molested her. I was so frantic and upset that I cracked a ceramic pot over my head until it cracked. Then I swallowed a handful of sleeping pills. Being ten...I wasn't the smartest when it came to suicide. It didn't work. And a few days later...When I asked her about the stories...She said I was ';lying';. That she exaggerated. That her father once hit her brother over the head with a broom, and kicked her once when she was being a brat.





    I never trusted her again. She became belligerent, drank more, started hitting me a few times...Nothing hard, just really bad swings. A couple times she clonked me in the nose. Then we moved. Constant insults, constant misery, nightly drinking, daily arguments. Needless to say I lost my mind. My dad has become a lot better...But her....She's disgusting. A sweaty, burnt leather sack wrapped around 280 pounds of charred lungs, a filthy liver, and fat. She never takes care of herself, wearing the same sickening sweat pants and near-transparent shirt every day.....She always smells like sweat and tobacco...Gah. She talks about my dad and I behind our backs to her parents, says that he causes her alcoholism, that we're the scum of the earth. Yeah...he's causing it alright...Going out of his way to buy her a 40$ bottle of Scotch. Oh no, my grandparents do it too. ';Most miserable people I've ever met.';, ';I think you should just get a divorce.'; I CAN'T STAND IT!





    And now...This surgery brings nothing but joy. She likes to withhold my pills, you see. And when I fall from the pain she likes to make bitchy comments and go out for a smoke, leaving me on the floor. And at night...Well...If I have to pee? Or if I'm dizzy from dehydration? Just have to wait till' the sun comes up so Daddy can help me, because God knows drunky has to stumble to bed. Or the Den floor. Whichever hits her first. And hah...If it wasn't for my daddy...Well, I'd probably die of starvation/dehydration in a puddle of my own urine on the bedroom floor. God bless the man. He loves her though...Which I could never understand. Why would he love her? She says she hates him! Gah!





    And she is so humiliating, I was a late bed wetter, so now that every time I sit on a couch or chair she always....ALWAYS...Makes some comment. ';Oh-...Sweeeetie pie, get off the couchy-poo before you make pee-pees.';, ';Oh do you want me to put the pad-dy down in case you poo-poo? Daddy would be very angry if you made wetties on his chair.'; It's humiliating. I feel like a toddler. She...She...I just wish she would go live somewhere else. In a convent, maybe. Yeah.








    I'm sorry about this everyone...I just needed to vent. If you have any suggestions about how to help the situation please chime in. If you have any criticisms do so too.I hate her! I hate her! What do I do to keep from committing mass sororicide!?
    Holy s--t. This may be an evil idea, but this sounds like a desperate situation. First, set up a hidden camera. Then, hide all of her alcohol, and tell her that you threw it away. Or, just be honest and tell her that you hid it. Make sure to tell her that you did it because you hate seeing her as an alcoholic. Now, at this moment, the situation will turn towards two possible endings. She will either realize that she has a problem and break down, or she will get mad and start engaging you. If she yells (which is guaranteed in the second situation), don't yell back. Try to be calm the whole time. Then, if I have analyzed her correctly, she will probably get physically violent with you. All you have to do is wait until she hits you a few times (not just slaps, but actual malicious punches) before running out of her reach. At that point, pull out the video camera, tell her that you have her physical abuse on tape, and then threaten to send it to the police. Then, immediately take the tape/memory chip to a trustworthy friend's house for safe keeping. By the way, don't tell her who has it.


    If you manage to do all of this, you will have successfully changed the status quo in the household, giving you power over her freedom. I must add, though, that you should only use the newfound power to curb her mental abuse. Do NOT abuse it to get special treatment or anything, because then you will be just as bad as her.I hate her! I hate her! What do I do to keep from committing mass sororicide!?
    You should start your own sorority.
    move.
    Since your dad is all better, your dad should get custody of you and you guys should move out. I don't understand how your dad could love a monstrous alcoholic. Your mom makes my mom look like the nicest mom in the world.





    If my advice doesn't work, then just destroy all the liquor before it reaches your ';mom';. If that doesn't work either, get a therapist or social worker to help you out.





    It seems like your ';mom'; has some life issues to deal with. She needs help also. Also, killing yourself is not the answer.





    By the way, you spelled suicide wrong on your question. I guess your were really pissed off when you were typing. Just saying.





    I'm sorry all of this crap has happened to you. I hope you find some help. You have my deepest sympathies.





    VIVA LA RAZA!
    if your being serious about this





    you should get your mom help cause she sound like and alcoholic





    or at least talk to someone about this and get help, i know that you probably hate hearing this, but it does help. I used to be suicidal and have realized that talking about your problems with somebody you trust does work.





    If your still in school talk about it with your counselor who would be happy to help you with your family crisis





    i know this is answer might not be much but i hope that i at least helped you a little bit:)
    you and your father should try stop her from drinking by taking all her money from her by stealing.
    Hi, i really do feel for you, i'm wondering what age you are, and why you can't just move?





    I completley disagree that you should touch her alcohol, in the long run this makes no difference to and alcoholic. She will find more somehow at some point, she will only stop if she wants to, not because you do. The only way to help yourself is to get away from her and withdraw from her.





    My own mother is a recovering alcoholic for nearly 9 years, and was drinking for years before that, her last 5 being particularly miserable. She was humiliating, irritating, spiteful and cruel.





    It is an illness. Your mother is sick. It sounds like she has deep depression with her alcoholism and is treating you in this vile way because her life is so miserable that she wants your to be too. There is nothing that you can do to help her, you could tell her that you know that she is an alcoholic and that she needs help. Her reaction might not be good, but at least she knows that you know. Denial is one of the main reasons alcoholics can't stop drinking. They don't believe that's what they are. But make sure she knows that you KNOW that's what she is.





    Her treatment to you is cruel and inexcusable. You should try and get away from her. I don't know where your from but maybe you should contact social services if you are too young to live alone. Get help from someone, even if it is authorities. Any person with a sane state of mind can see that you are suffering from physical and mental abuse. You shouldn't be put through this, you are not responsible for her mistakes. If you can't move due to age you should be eligible for help from some sort of caring authority, especially in your circumstances.





    You may feel sorry for your father, but remember, although life may be pretty miserable for him too, he can leave if he wants, but he doesn't, he may not be ready to leave this situation which he has endured for so long, it's hard to understand but it's the way it can be unfortunately for people in destructive relationships. You have to try and concentrate on how to help yourself before you could possibly help anyone else. Just let him know that your there for him. But if you can get out you should. Your mother won't stop drinking unless she wants to and is ready to. Good luck.
    write a book! you're amazing. are you an author i swear i would read it.


    at school we just finished reading a book similar to this. abusive mother and stuff.
    I think you and your dad needs to encourage her to go to a rehabilitation center.

    Should I Let Him Go, Or Should I Keep Him?

    I have had a boyfriend for 3 1/2 years now. He is the man who made me realize how a woman should really be treated %26amp; how a woman should hold herself (class %26amp; respect). He used to treat me like a queen, hold my hand, want to touch me, kiss me %26amp; he loves being be around me. All of that has drastically changed. He barely looks at me, I try to get a kiss %26amp; he says ';I already gave you one earlier';, he barely talks to me, he says mean things to me %26amp; tries to cover it up with ';...I was just kidding...'; %26amp; we go weeks without having sex.

    I have started to feel undesirable %26amp; unattractive. I have become depressed %26amp; VERY lonely, I find myself crying everyday. Now I know the first recommendation would be to talk to him. Well I have many times. He says that he is just stressed out, or tired %26amp; that he is still attracted to me. These are valid reasons why there would be a change in behavior, but why towards me? I have done nothing but try to help him %26amp; support him through hard times %26amp; now that things are starting to look up, I'm getting completely getting shafted. I have become an empty shell of a person because the man I love has set the standards so high of how a man should be, %26amp; now has become the complete opposite.We have talked about it so many times %26amp; I have told him how I feel but nothing has changed. I am so fed up with feeling so low %26amp; there being no resolution that I may just want to end it. I don't know if I have the strength to break up with him but I don't want to feel like this anymore.Should I Let Him Go, Or Should I Keep Him?
    break up with him then get back together a day later maybe hell come to his senses i no its harder then it sounds but good luckShould I Let Him Go, Or Should I Keep Him?
    rock his world in bed..and i mean in every way..if that doesnt do it..hes either gay or doesnt want you anymore.
    end it
    Who threw passion out with the bath water? Your own identity as a woman has to come from you. He forgot that women want 4 things: 1) to be held, 2) to be listened to, 3) to be loved unconditionally, and 4) to be shown passion. It is not just how you feel about him, but how he makes you feel about yourself.
    You are just mirroring him. If he is stressed out and tired, you will feel stressed out and tired. Then that feeds back on him and he mirrors you.



    What you need is two boyfriends, or maybe just some more fun friends. Once you start having some fun, he will pick up on that energy, and work his way out of that rut by mirroring you. Just go out, have some fun, then share the energy.
    up to you
    Well it must be very confusing. However, there are always periods - in a long-term relationship - when the infatuation, the 'being in love' feeling ends and something else needs to take place, which is real love, which is what we 'work on' every day with our spouse. The problem is that many people are not taught this (where would they?) and therefore they become very confused when they are 'hit' by this. The best solution is of course to go to therapy - marriage therapy - because just talking about it together will not solve it.



    If, however, the problem is only an external one, for example he's very stressed at work (but I don't think it's just that, but let's assume it is), you are the person who suffers the most because you are the person he comes back to - it is true that the closest person to us suffers our worst moods, whilst the stranger gets the best of us sometimes. It's just human nature, unfortunately, and again we need to be trained to avoid doing this for the sake of our relationships.



    A relationship that works needs to be worked on every day. You can also start yourself by reflecting on what you can do to improve the relationship. He may be surprised by YOUR change. But, if you can , go to marriage therapy or counseling, because it's the quickest way to resolve this before it's too late.
    honey get over hm..go some where without him...for a little while..and if he loves you he will come back to you..if not then he is not the right guy for you... and to be honest even though u proply hear this alot...but thr are alot of fish out there....and u will eventually find the right guy
    girl you need to let him go.. NO GIRL DESERVES THAT!!

    you say that he is the one who taught you how a woman should be treated ,etc. and it is not like that! Letting him go will be hard but sometimes you need to think of yourself and know that you deserve to be treated better..he feels safe that your there and doesnt think you'll leave.or he's over it thinking he is bored or just being an a**hole. let him go and explain why '; [i] dont deserve to be treated like this, you once treated me with respect and i have now lost all respect for you...'; or something aalong those lines



    maybe/hopefully after realising what he lost he will grow up and realize what he has done and what caused it...





    hope it all works out!!

    A possiblity thatmy man cheated and the girl is pregnant but if he didnt should i stay or should i go? i dono.

    she sent me a note saying that she is pregnant by him and is is staying with here and i havent seen him since his b-day which was march12. he hasnt called me in 3 wks and he posted a journal saying.'; i woke up this morning wondering what if she is pregnant then how do i tell the other about us that doesnt know.'; then he also said. what to do about the famous quote '; never leave the one you love for the one that you like becuase the one that you like will leave you for the one they love... he keeps saying that he needs help. im a good female and i need advice.. if he didnt cheat and she isnt pregnant then should i stay and make things work or should i go? we have been together for 6 mnths and right now i consider myself pregnant.. he have only seen eacother about half of the 6 mnths and we dont really spend time together.. he is in beaumont and he was going to lamar and she is in beaumont and goes to the same school. so what to do i need serious advice for a real ***** and a real femaleA possiblity thatmy man cheated and the girl is pregnant but if he didnt should i stay or should i go? i dono.
    He did cheat because there is a possibility that he is this child's father. He's not God and she ain't the Virgin Mary so we know it wasn't immaculate conception. He cheated and you need to decide if this relationship is worth fighting for. I wonder if he's lying to you if you need someone like him in your life.A possiblity thatmy man cheated and the girl is pregnant but if he didnt should i stay or should i go? i dono.
    he gone let him go and get some on new that will love you and respect you
    have sex with his best friend, get pregnant and tell him it is his. Then he will stay with you and on the kid's 18 birthday break the news to him. Watch him cry. That is all.
    It seems he has already left you. Move on; don't get yourself wrapped up in his crazy life. Go make something of yourself. Do all the things you wish you could. Because one day before you know it you'll be tied down to some guy again.
    LEAVE HIM HE IS NOT WORTHY OF YOU
    ARe you serious? Do you really need to ask if you should go? He doesn,t want you , he found someone else. Learn from this and move on. You ';Can,t '; make things work if he doesn,t want you.
    ~~~~~~NO DONT STAY WITH HIM I'M SORRY BUT WHY ARE YOU EVEN THINKING OF STAYING WITH HIM~~~~~~~~
    in this situation i would say move on. you don't want to go into a relationship or marriage with the baggage you now have. he cheated on you and if he did it this time he will probally do it again so save yourself the trouble...and if he isn't calling you now then take that as a hint. I know it hurts but you have to do whats right for you.
    Hunni, it sounds like hes cheated, you need to leave him, he obv doesnt respect you enough.



    But just to be sure, bring up all the evidence and ask him, see what he says.
    First of all how do you consider yourself pregnant? You either are or you aren't! Secondly, doesn't sound like it was working that well anyway, he doesn't call, apparently stays with another girl and if he thinks she might be pregnant he obviously did 'cheat' with her. So hmm what is the question? I think maybe you both need help.
    You should go, he cheated and now he got someone pregnant. You guys have one been together for 6 months and he couldn't even stay faithful for that long. Hez not worth giving another chance, that soon in to a relationhip, no one should be given a chance. He probably knows that he did something messed up, only because he prolly doesn't want to be a dad. You guys hardly talk and see eachother, the relationship is practically over. I think he mught break up with you. You should break up with him, before he breaks up with you, because hez the one that cheated, NOT YOU.
    You definetly dont need that kinda of stress or deserve that behavior from your man! Your mans suppose to be there for you and respect you, not go away for awhile without talking/ seeing you! Gurl get out of it before its too late! Find a man thats gonna do you right, not wrong! Best of Luck!!
    You need to leave this guy!!! You are walking straight into a domestically violent relationship and you don't even know it. If he doesn't talk to you and you don't spend much time together now, then you honestly think he's gonna be around when your child is born? probably not. no man is worth waiting around for-go find yourself something better:)
    The question you are asking is trully not that important.... you should be asking yourself do I want to be with someone who cheated on me? not should I stay if the person he cheated with is not pregnant.



    Think about the type of person he is to sleep around with someone else... AND not use any type of birth control or STD protection. Is that who you would want to spend time with? Do you want to spend time with someone who does not give the same respect that you have been giving him? (assuming you are being faithful to him )



    If I were you I would really think more about those things and not worry about this girl who maybe preg. Thats her problem not yours.
    Ok pimp here you go. First find out for sure if the woman is pregnant. If so then leave sweetie with your head held high knowing you did your part 'til the end. If not then find out if you're experiencing insecurity issues. Talk to him so he'll know he can come to you about anything no matter what it is and look at his every facial expression. Things never just fall in to place you have to work hard at a meaningful relationship that involves communication, honesty, trust, commitment, loyalty %26amp; respect. There are other things but you get what I'm sayin' right. Everyone is going to go through some hurt %26amp; pain but unwanted H %26amp; P we don't need in our lives so if it's not right for you then don't do it. Hope all ends well for you sweetie, peace.
    oh dear, you poor girl. You almost say it as a fact yourself, get away from that looser! He is nothing but a vampire, feeding on innocent girls. You said you are a nice girl, I know for a fact that it is plenty of fish in the water, who will give you the respect you and every other girl truly deserves. girl power. be strong!
  • finger nails turning
  • I'm in love with an older man, and I'm only 16?

    I have no idea what he sees in me. He's 28 and I'm only 16, we met over the summer and for some reason he thinks I'm just the greatest thing. I keep telling him to look else where and that I'm too young but he wont listen, at all. I'm tempted to just give in. I do like him but I'm trying to look at this logically, but my heart might have other plans.


    What does he see in me? (besides sex for you perverts out there)


    What should I do?


    Most of all, how should I tell him?I'm in love with an older man, and I'm only 16?
    schedule a lunch or dinner with him. arrive at the restaurant before he does with your father and a uniformed police officer and wait for him. You won't need to say anything.I'm in love with an older man, and I'm only 16?
    It's all sex. Wake up and use logic. Why else would the pedophile want to be with you?
    Sex is all he sees in you. He doesn't care about you at all and he's a pedophile. Tell him if he doesn't leave you alone you will call the cops.
    Stay away from him. This guy is a criminal. When I was 28, the thought of getting with a 16 year old would have disgusted me - as it would any well adjusted adult. The fact that he is pursuing you means that there is something SERIOUSLY wrong with him. This guy is bad news. I know he is saying sweet things and making you feel really special, but that is what sexual predators do, that is how they operate. He is using that fact that girls mature faster than boys and boys your age often don't offer girls your age what you want. He may genuinely care about you, but it is based on his own sick pathology. I'm sure you're very lovable, but any 28 year old is loving you for ALL the wrong reasons. Depending on your state, what he's trying to do may be a crime.





    But keep looking - the boys will catch up, and you'll find someone special. I know you may feel lonely and that you'll NEVER find that special guy out there, but trust me, there are lots of great guys out there.





    What does he see in you? Besides sex, he sees innocence, he sees someone he can mold and control. He sees someone who will look up to him and he can impress. This is a guy who cannot handle women who challenge him, so he wants someone who won't challenge him. Relationships are about give and take, and two mature personalities coming together, blending, but still holding onto some part of their individuality. Something about this process freaks him out so he seeks a weaker (because you are younger and less experienced) person so he doesn't have to adjust.





    What to do? If you are below the age of consent in your state, call the police. If not, I would just talk to you your mom.





    But above all, stay away from this guy. I know he makes you feel special, but he is using you and he is drawing you into his pathology. Don't be his victim. Just tell him flat out that he is mentally unbalanced and you want nothing to do with him. Tell him to find some girl his own age (if he can.) You deserve better than this loser.
    um isnt it illegal for a 28 yr old dude to date a minor?...
    I know exactly wha you mean


    Just try your best to keep him off your mind and they soon drift away
    Well you should already know that you cant let anything ';happen'; but maybe if you tell him to '; wait till your older'; and then gradually drift apart if the age thing really bothers you.
    IF you are dating at all at this age it should be with 16 %26amp; 17 years old ONLY and should be double-dating. YOU are much too YOUNG and YOU are NOT in love.
    stay away for your own good
    is he really worth it, i mean.... if a 28 year old is going for a 16 year old.. he may be kinda a dud, ya know? also, isnt that a bit illegal? if anyone finds out your involved with him he could be sent to jail for saggitory rape.


    i think you should tell him if he really likes you that he should wait till your at least 20 so it wont be so illegal ha.
    ....you could get him in a lot of trouble....you should find someone els.if he really likes you ...he can wait...just be careful.
    we are perverts because we suggest sex is the only reason he is interested? he is the pervert i'm afraid. wake up and smell the coffee... tell your mum and dad if he doesn't leave you alone, it is really important that you do that. and i'm sorry but 8 times out of 10 any guy of any age is going out with someone for the sex at the start so you've got to ask yourself why a man 12 years older would be interested in a girl that is barely past puberty. please
    it is sex.


    What you need to do is stop talking to him, hopefully he will get it. since a relationship with him is illegal. If you were 18 it may be different but you are still a kid and your confused. You don't want to be messing around with a 28 year old. If u dont want to stop talking to him then just tell him that you only want to be friends. If he gets mad at that he is crazy and you should get a retaining order.
    He probably actually loves you. There are many things he could see in you like: beauty, intelligence, personality, love, and happiness. If you like him go for it, but do remember that dating an older man could be bad for your and his rep. People may call him a pedophile and you a hoe. I believe from past experience that dating older men is better. They're more mature and less out there. You should tell him how you feel and go from there based on a decision both of you agree on.
    This is horribly wrong. If he's interested in anybody your age it's because he's a pedophile. The only thing more disturbing than his initial interest in you is the fact that you told him you're too young and he didn't listen. You need to tell you parents about this dude immediately. I have nieces a little younger than you and there would be some SEVERE consequences and repercussions If they came to me with this. Anyway, don't tell him a damn thing, tell your PARENTS. He won't get in any trouble but I bet you won't hear from him after he hears from THEM
    He sees in you a younger girl who is easily impressed by the fact that he is older and more experienced. He is likely to tell you that women his age does not satisfy his needs in various ways and that your youth and freshness is something that he appreciates. But if you think about it, this is an indication that he can't deal satisfactorily with people his own age, so you should be aware of it. It's easy to manipulate younger people and tell them what they like to hear. You should think about it. Also for older people, younger people are always attractive physically. To have younger girlfriends also satisfies their ego too, as if it proves their virility, or their youthfulness compared to their own peers.(i.e. ';I can handle her'; ';I'm young at heart because I have a young girlfriend/wife.';)





    And I don't want to say this but all the other respondents are correct in their assessment of this man's ulterior motives, and you can't really bypass the fact that he is sexually more experienced than you are. Sex is probably an important part of his ';attraction'; or ';romantic interest'; to you. You are so young and it's easy for him to manipulate you, no matter whatever caution you use in dealing with him. And please don't forget that his advance toward you, a minor, is illegal.





    Nobody can tell you what you should do because in the end you will do only what you decide to do. But if I were you, I would hold out strong and say no to him. It's silly to have your life tied up with a man more than a decade older than you. You should be having fun and most of all learning by interacting and surviving the tough friendship/relationship situations with people your own age. You are only 16 and there is a world out there for you to experience.





    How should you tell him -- this depends on the kind of relationship/interactions that you have had with him so far. But no matter what case, clearly communicating your final decisions is very important. Think of a way that you can communicate you decision to him in the most direct and clear way. Leave no room for interpretations, reading between the lines, or second guesses.





    And one more thing, if he really likes you, he would wait until you reach a legal age. If he's not willing to wait, well then ... you MUST move on.
    he is a sexual predator!!!





    have you watched dateline NBC how to catch a predator guys like him get arrested EVERYday!





    if you really want an answer RUN tell him you are to young for him because you are!





    he is 26 and should be starting to settle down and you have yet to have those essential years if your life!





    I know so many girls who have been hurt in so many ways due to older men like this PLEASE don't give in do yourself a favor!!!





    THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO!-


    even if you think it is not about sex or it cant happen to me... it can dear!... If he really cares about you he will wait 2 years until you are 18 and it is legal for the 2 of you to be together.... Trust me it will be worth it... if he sticks around and waits for you then you will know for sure that its not about sex and he truly wants to be with you! You need to remember he can get in big trouble for being with you! If you care about him you need to tell him to wait because you will be so angry with yourself if he gets in trouble because of you (even though it is his fault for pursuing)! you need to realize you have so much life in front of you and so much growing to do....





    you both are in separate stages of your life and he needs to respect that.... if you tell him to give you room to grow first as an individual and in age... he better and if doesn't then he is being selfish definitely is just in it to hit it!





    hope this helps!
    ';I'm tempted to just give in. I do like him but I'm trying to look at this logically, but my heart might have other plans. ';





    Oh, honey, no.





    You should be VERY wary of a twenty-eight year old - an adult - giving you *that* type of attention. I don't mean to sound patronizing, but you're only sixteen; you're still physically, mentally, and emotionally a child. A normal twenty-eight year would recognize that. He sounds like a creep, in all honesty.
    it just for sex,I went out with a man older than me i was 16 and he was 30

    What would you do: but keep in mind i do have a boy friend????

    okay i don't know where to start........ but here it go i have been in a relationship with my boy friend for a little over a year. i love him but not in love yet (well **** i don't know) he is a good man anywomn dreams and it has been like this since day one. okay me i am a g ood woman very out going/ funny ys know..... but i ahve this babby daddy..lol...... that i was so in love with but it just did not work out. he was just not the one for me as far as my future. So i had to leave him along not something i wanted but i do have a future and a career to handle. he was just so (bad) for me but (good) at the same time, anyway he is back!!!!!!!!! I just enjoy his company which my boy friend don't mind him comming around by the way my boy friend is a merchant seaman which is good!!!!!! but like i sad he come aroundd he wants to have sex with me o my how i just want him to do me really good, but i can't allow my self to do that to this man that loves the hell out of me and my kids. MOREWhat would you do: but keep in mind i do have a boy friend????
    I have a 14 month old with the one man I was in love with. Unfortunately he was not so great to me... we completely love each other... but after 3 years with him, I'd just had enough of his bad behavior. Anyway, I'm currently dating someone else and the new guy treats me really well. I'm not in love with him, but it's a healthier relationship. The point is, I know what you're going through because I'm there. I love my ex and always will, but it just can't be. He's still the same man he was before and getting back with him would only bring me back down. I'm more interested in pursuing the man I'm dating now because we have a real chance together and we are HEALTHY together. Just because you're not over your ex doesn't mean you won't be one day... and when you finally get enough distance from him to recover, you'll see that a healthy relationship is what you truly want.What would you do: but keep in mind i do have a boy friend????
    if you knew that your current bf would be in and out of your life because of his job or your job...you dont set yourself up for problems. you just push them away and stick to the fact that your man will come and go. if you chose a man who wouldnt be at home on the weekends...would you find a guy to have sex with on the weekends while your bf/spouse was away working? . toss the babby daddy out of your mind and out of your life. he's only there for the child!
    The ONLY reason u should be seeing this guy (baby daddy) is to collect your child support or for him to visit your child. Other then that every time he offers your to have sex your should go off on him like he just treated your life. In a way he is treating your LIFE STYLE. His dumb *** is just trying to get a piece of tale and move on, possible get your pregnant AGAIN. Then you r in the same boat except this time you are not going have another kid and you are NOT going to have a boyfriend who loves you and respects you. Your baby daddy don't respect you. . . he looks at u as a thing to pleasure himself with. You need to tell the retard to keep his comments to himself. I feel sorry for the kids.

    Men plz answer- I was proposed to and I think I want to say no- WOMEN GET SCREWED IN MARRIAGE?

    I'm 27 and my boyfriend just asked to marry me and I want to say no- not because I don't love him. but because after listening to all my guys friend and brothers deal with their marriage and relationship, I'm convinced that women get SCREWED IN MARRIAGE.



    Let me just say I'm not a man basher- I love men- the world would be boring without them. I'm independent- though I like when a guy does something for me without expectation and thus show my appreciation. I have a good job, take personal development classes, keep in good shape, and love to travel and do it often. I'm just afraid if I GET MARRIED I WILL LOSE MYSELF.



    As women we are taught to grow up, get educated,get a career, get married, and maybe have children. Men get mad if we make more than them. If we get married, we are constantly told we forced him to settle down despite the man is the one, more often then not, who proposed. We then have children, which takes a toll on our bodies making us less attractive. Now strapped with most of the child-rearing duties and a full time job outside the home (with the economy it is to me expected that both work so that the family can survive) we have no time to get back to pre baby status. And if we try to it costs money (nails, new clothes, hair, makeup) we are then called golddiggers. After making money, raising the couples children, doing most of the domestic chores, men then complain that the wife will not have sex due to tiredness and they wonder why? We can not ask for help because it would be nagging. They don't listen if we did approach them with a problem anyway. We give them their guy time to get away from the house despite being saddled with most of the domestic obligations ourselves. They put their friends first and we put our families first. They constantly complain about THE WIFE and then expect their wives to stroke their egos Men then use that time to cheat claiming that we became boring, no sex, or bad sex. I'm sorry, but a women with children, chores, and a fulltime job does not have time to get away to maintain herself ie girls night, waxing,take a class, read a good book or anything to she used to do that made the women interesting to the man to begin with. In divorce men complain that they get half their stuff taken- YA SO DO WE. ( I have a substantial saving pot, no debtat all, and two incoming producing rentals that I do not want to lose.) They complain that they lose the children when it has been my experience most of my divorce female friends say that their ex expected them to take the children because they don't want to hassle with raising them. Anybody with children know that matter how much child support they get it is never equal to half the cost of raising a child. Alimony- I do not believe in unless you can prove without a shadow of a double that the women had to give up her career for somebody to stay home and raise the child -daycare is equivalent to a months pay nowadays making it pointless to have someone else f-up your kids when you can do it the right way by staying home.- In the end the man can go and start a new family forgetting about his old one and a women is looked down upon in the dating world for having children.



    What should I do?Men plz answer- I was proposed to and I think I want to say no- WOMEN GET SCREWED IN MARRIAGE?
    I think you have to focus on the now, and that is marriage. I think you should do it because its not that your not ready to be with him. The problem your thinking about is that your not really ready for children and the responsibilities that come with having children. That's understandable and you should be thinking about that future but it is still the future and you can plan for it. Right now you have a man who loves you and wants to further your relationship in the hope that it will last as long as both of you shall live. If you love him and you can see yourself with him for a long time then go ahead and get married, but make sure you discuss your feelings about having kids and come to agreements before you decide so that you'll both understand each others hopes and fears. Don't let other peoples experiences disrupt yours because every relationship is different and no one will know whats going to happen, and go in thinking it this happiness will last as long as possible and work at making it work. I say do it just discuss and plan together about where you stand on issues related to children and even divorce, get talking into the relationship now before you settle into your lives together.



    Good luck in YOUR decision and hope I gave you a new perspective to consider.Men plz answer- I was proposed to and I think I want to say no- WOMEN GET SCREWED IN MARRIAGE?
    Who the hell is gonna read all that garbage?
    For his sake, not marry him.
    nag nag nag , your defiantly ready for marriage
    I seriously think you should say no. for your boyfriends sake.
    You dont marry a guy that you dont like because you will regret and marriage is not a kind of joke its showing to god that you will love that person and that person will love you until death you dont just say NO say ill think about it first or say that im not for you because were not a perfect couple and some men are just using marriage as fun
    Don't listen to others. That's ridiculous. Act according to your own wishes. And no, you won't lsoe yourself in marriage. All people around the world marry and none of them lose themselves. My teach is hapily married with two kids, and besides that she's got an awesome carrier - in an international company, and she also teaches and does whatever she wants. Your husband is your support, not your will.
    Wow thanks for the update. Lol
    Tell you what, i'm 25 and married. I have a career, a newborn child, own my own car and a house. I am well educated (finished my studies about a year after we married) and I am in a management role with my company so I earn good money.



    Based on your initial question and beginning comments, dont listen to your brothers and male friends. You're 27, make up your own mind. If you love your partner then live for now and see where it takes you.



    Why do so many people think the worst? Divorce never even crossed my mind when my husband proposed to me... maybe if you have all these hesitations, hes not the one for you...?
    Vic, settle petal. He ask you to marry him not be his slave. Its a partnership of which both do the same share of the work.
    PRENUP...And yes I read it all and thats usually the way it goes for women in a double standard world.
    I agree its not all fair - but women do get commitment in marriage and security. By the way you dont have to have kids or just have one or even adopt a kid.



    Do you trust your bf? By the way you could say yes and give it a year before you get married - that way if you change your mind then thats ok.



    I dont want 3 kids or anything - i just dont have the energy. It sounds like you have a negative view of relationships. I did too because my parents had a bad one. Also women work these days so you can afford to hire a cleaner. I plan on doing that and just cooking simple meals and not having many kids.
    You should express these concerns to him. My wife is very independent, but she also knows she loves me and wants to spend the rest of her life to me. We're no different than we were before. Our marriage was a commitment we made to each other.



    In my opinion, the only women who are in marriages where they feel they're just ';the wife'; is because they made it that way, or let it get that way. I'm not woman-bashing (to be clear), the same goes for men who feel like ';the husband';. The roles can be reversed, and have the same unsettling effect.



    If you don't want to be the homemaker or stay-at-home mom, don't be. Not all women are the ones who do chores and watch the children. My wife and I both work retail, and share very haphazard schedules. We share a very even role when it comes child-rearing and chores.



    As for the money, if it is that big of an issue, get a prenuptial agreement. Not just men get them...







    Overall, it sounds like you have a very skewed view of men and women's roles in a marriage. You sound like you don't want a traditional relationship, but your judgemental view stems from those exact roles. Tell your boyfriend why you said no, and ask him if he'd support a marriage where you'd have your prenup, freedoms, and an even distribution of roles. If he's on-board, there is no reason to say no, right?

    Men, Women and Relationships...?

    ******PLEASE BE SERIOUS ABOUT THIS AND TRY NOT TO BE RUDE AS IT IS NOT GREATLY APPRECIATED.*******

    So, after numerous failed relationships, i've caught myself wondering what exactly was going on and if my mother was right by telling me once that I had a 5 mile radar for 'Assholes' when it came to men. (I've always found myself not being able to trust 'them' and always being suspicious. Why? Well, I'm not quite sure)...So anyway,



    I didn't agree with her at first and it quite frankly did not make sense to me at that time but now, at the ripe age of 23, i am starting to wonder if maybe she was right. Am I really attracted to assholes?! Why is it so difficult to find that 'one' special person??



    So after yet ANOTHER painfully failed relationship, i've decided to do something about my 'problem' and i've started reading books and doing a little research here and there about Men, Women and Relationships and i'd like some feed back! I mean, am i really the only one here that's coo-coo for Coco-Puffs or is there more to the story? I would love to hear other women's opinions and their feed back in general when it comes to Men and Relationships and how to sustain, achieve and keep a loving realtionship alive.



    Once again, my dear mother, had this book that she thought would be helpful in my quest and i'm proud to say that i've read it and that it has helped quite a bit and i would like to actually have other people read it and see if you agree with some of it's method's and just the author's opinion and 'expertise' in general. Why you ask?! Well, i figured if it (somewhat) helped me, it should be able to help anybody and if not, well at least you've learned something new today that we can discuss. Like a wise man once told me: Knowledge is power my friend!!



    My favorite quote of the whole book is right below. I think that 99% of women (especially the ones i know) have this kind of thinking to these particular items below. I know that I sure did and still do but i am working on that...It's quite a process let me tell you but hey, at least i'm doing something about it. Right?!



    ';When he (Man) is distracted, she assumes he doesn't love her. When he is late, she assumes that she is no longer important to him. When he forgets to do things, she assumes he is getting even.';



    **Men, Women and Relationships by: John Gray, Ph.D.**



    So please join me in this discussion and let me know what you think.



    Thank you,

    Men, Women and Relationships...?
    i haven't read the book, but i have learnt a few things about relationships. where most relationships fall down is in the expectations. for instance, a woman might expect a man to keep a house clean because she wants him to, and he should do what makes her happy. but if it is not in his nature to keep a clean house, then he is unlikely to do it. she will think that he is doing it to spite her, when really it's just in his nature.



    so, expectations create problems, because the people in the relationship see the other person not for who they are, but for who they think they should be. and that is bad.



    mutual respect and trust are important, but so is showing that you love and respect someone. a man wants to be loved and to feel like he is looking after his lady/family, and a lady can either build him up or bring him down. if you want a happy relationship, be warm and giving with your compliments. be polite. so many people are much meaner to their partners than they would be to a stranger.



    communication is important, but you might communicate in different ways. seek compromise.



    and lastly respect yourself. if you do that, you will be less likely to let yourself be treated badly. we are in the relationships that we create for ourselves - so if men are treating you badly, it's because you let them do so, and don't demand any better. you need to be prepared to walk away if someone treats you badly. otherwise, you will continue to be in bad relationships.Men, Women and Relationships...?
    I think men are from mars and women are from venus.



    plenty of PhD accredited relationship experts have written about the psychological aspects of men and women and relationships, dating marriage and the whole nine yards.
    Uh.. what was the question??
    I've always believed that you attract what you put out there. For instance, if you are really interested in looks, the guys that come into your life will also be interested in looks. If you really value education, educated people will come into your life. This has always been my way of life and I am 40 years old now.

    So.....this is what you need to do.

    1) Describe in DETAIL what you desire in a man......money, education, looks, personality, muscles, etc (as many as possible)

    2) Then, write in detail how he will treat you!!!! Even when you are sick, have a broken leg....etc....

    3) Write all about your jobs (will he be home everynight or away? Will he have to travel? meet a lot of people?, entertain? etc)

    4) Children...do you want them? How many? How will your partner treat them??? Who will be the caregiver? Nurturer? Disciplinarian,e tc...

    5) What do you expect to happen in 1 month, 1 year and 5 years??? Where do you desire to be those time frames???



    Watch it happen!!! Everytime I did this, my life has always followed course. Have fun, be specific and if I missed something, just add it. Follow your gut and write as much as you want. Once you ';put it out there'; it will come back to you.

    I fall in love with a married woman . How can I do?

    I am a single man. life without love and woman is really insipidity. As a nomal man, sometimes the sex desire makes me crazy. The prostitute is not a wise choice for I keep the idear that it is better to die from sex famine than die from AIDS. So the only solution is DIY.



    That day I meet my angel in a online dating club (It seems I went there though a web page called:

    http://celebrityhome.ourprofile.net/



    She is really perfect - sexy, good-tempered and considerate. I think she is not only a good sex parter, but also a soul mate. But I know she is married, the relationship between us is not immoral. I am very ambivalent. I do not know what I should do , to leave her or to stay with her. Can you give me some suggestion?I fall in love with a married woman . How can I do?
    Unless she leaves her husband, your relationship can and should go nowhere. Find another girl who has less baggage.I fall in love with a married woman . How can I do?
    you love her, but it seems like your mostly going after sex!!!
    My friend, falling in love with a married woman is not immoral. But going beyond that will lead you to immorality. Another thing is,that woman has her own responsibility to her husband and children (if she has). And you do not want to put yourself in trouble,would you?If you stay with her or leave her, what are the good points and bad points?Weigh the points and decide.
    You should have known better than to begin chatting with a married woman to begin with. You wouldn't have fallen in love with her if you hadn't engaged in this inappropriate behavior to begin with.
    You say she is a good sex partner and that the relationship is not immoral? If you are having sex with a married woman it is immoral. You need to stop this relationship with her and look for a single woman.



    If single women are not attracted to you, maybe you need to look into this and make some changes in yourself.
    YES my advice would be to stick to D,I.Y. dont get involved with a married woman. it only causes trouble. she wont leave him %26amp; if he finds out then it could be dangerous.
    You know it's wrong to have a love relationship with a married women. Ask what she wants out of this relationship. That's the first step. If she really loves you and wants to be with you she will opt out of her marriage. If not, you should find someone single.
    you have to leave her, she's married, she can't fall in love with you.
    F*** is wrong with you. Don't mow another man's lawn.
    reverse the role and you were married and your wife meet this sexy, good-temperedand considerate man how you feel you know there no future in messing with a married woman have she said anything about leaving her husband you already know the play so move on and fine some one else unless you like misery good luck but remmeber this what goes around come around
    is it a new way of advertising? consider the risks and see if they are worth it.
    stay away from married woman , you have no right to destroy marriges.
    She wasn't yours in the first place. Find someone who is not already taken. Wouldn't you always wonder, if she would run around on her husband now, what would keep her from running around on you?
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