Am i being selfish wanting to keep this baby?

i am twenty nine and my boyfriend is thirty two%26gt; We have only been together for seven months but we had both been with our previous partners for ten years and when we met we just clicked%26gt; We have pretty much spent any spare minute not working with each other and i moved into his house a few weeks ago leaving my place empty and on the market%26lt; we just couldnt wait to be together%26gt; i found out last week that i am five weeks pregnant%26gt; i had been on the pill for seven months but and i hold my hand up here i forgot to take one tablet in the last pack%26gt; i did tell my boyfriend when this happened%26gt; I have always wanted children more than anything and made no secret of this when i met my boyfriend%26gt; I had an abortion at twenty two when in my final year of university%26gt; Although i stand by that decision as the right thing to do at the time I have really struggled with it over the years and i still do feel desperately sad and guilty about it%26gt; I have always heard from everyone that knows me that i will make an excellent mother %26gt; i do seem to be good with children and i have tons of love to give%26gt; i never really felt loved by anyone until i met my boyfriend%26gt; he has been so caring of me since we met and has shown me so much affection%26gt; i was scared to tell him about the pregnancy as it hadnt been planned and when i did he wasnt in the least bit angry but i soon discovered he assumed i would want to have an abortion%26gt; although i have a decent full time job that will offer me maternity pay for a ful year his job is under threat and he doesnt know what hell do if he loses it%26gt; he also has worries over his mortgage which i completely understand%26gt; he has been very honest and says if it wasnt for these two things he would want this baby but that he just doesnt think its the right time%26gt; as far as im concerned my body and mind are screaming that i am pregnant by the man i love and i am twenty nine%26lt; not a child%26lt; capable of looking after and loving this baby%26gt; the idea of an abortion is repellent to me but i cannot force a child on someone who does not want it%26gt; i know that money is a huge issue and i know he is only saying all this because he is a decent man who wants to be a provider for his child%26gt; the area where we live is not great%26lt; the schools are terrible and its noisy%26lt; our house is really big and cold and impossible to heat in the winter when the baby is due%26gt; we dont know each other all that well but i feel that after seven months with him i trust him more than i ever trusted my ex in ten years and that we understand each other completely%26gt; i am so torn%26gt; i dont want to do this on my own but i dont think i can have an abortion%26gt; what if we tried for a baby in a few years and one or other of us had become infertile or got ill and couldnt then have children? how could we look at each other knowing we had the oportunity and didnt take it? yes is will be hard im sure im not naive%26gt; i can contribute money wise though and i feel that at nearly thirty i dont want to be messing about as i desperately want children%26gt; i just cant shake the feeling that im ruining someone elses life if i go ahead and have this baby%26gt; if a child is not wanted by both parents then should it be born? i know people do a fantastic job being single mothers but i do not think my boyfriend would let me do this he is so honourable%26lt; he would be involved and give me money and see the child i just know it%26lt; but it would be against his will and i hate that%26gt; i am just feeling this little thing growin inside me and every hour i get more sure that i want to keep it and that it is a gift that i should cherish%26lt; how many women are unable ever to conceive%26lt; i have been handed this on a plate%26gt; please can you tell me what you think and how you think i should broach this again with my boyfriend? i can do without people telling me abortion is murder and i would be killing the baby and how can i think of that etc%26gt; i have no proble with abortion if done for the right reasons%26lt; if a child would be better of not being born then i think it is a choice%26gt; i am not asking for opinions on abortion%26lt; just advice on this situation



thank you



and im so sorry about the lack of full stops but my computer keyboard is broken and i cant help thisAm i being selfish wanting to keep this baby?
you are not selfish at all, you told your bf that 1. you WANTED kids, 2. you missed a pill..

if he agreed to have sex with you around that time, he agreed to th risk of a child knowing abortion was not an option for you.. if you want to keep this wonderful life that is growing inside YOUR body, keep it .. it takes two to make a baby.. as good as he seems, you also are very horomonal and maybe dont realize the weight of this.. if he wants you to get an abortion, after knowing that you wanted kids and ect.. maybe he was just a mister RIGHT NOW.. ya know.. trust me we have all had them in our lives.. the reasons you dont want to get an abortion now are the same reasons i will never have an abortion.. i am here for support if you ever need it.. i know i am younger (20) but i have a 5 month old son and have been through more than i can type.. haha.. btw.. you will not ruin anyone elses life if you have this baby.. but i think you WOULD ruin your OWN life if you DIDNT have this baby.. good luck.. and please talk to people if you are not sure what to do, pregnancy makes us ladies strange in the brain lol.. dont let him sway your mind if you even THINK you MIGHT regret it.. good luck and keep me posted..Am i being selfish wanting to keep this baby?
I would tell your bf you want the baby, and that you really dont want to give it up, let him know that you will be working too and that you can provide for this baby just as much as he can, and maybe that will shift him to get a better job, and you guys could move out of where you are now and find a better place? Just because you have all these concerns doesnt mean that your bf is going to hate you if you keep the baby, do what you think is right, and you will find a way to take care of this baby, with or without his help!
I would keep the baby, he is probably just scared to be a dad. it is just something that happened see it as a blessing and not something you should kill off he doesn't have to see the child or anything but it is your baby too and if you want to keep it you should.



I think you should raise the baby check into things like child support and help for single moms in your area and maybe it will be easier financially for you.



I dont think he should want you to kill the baby if he had sex with you in the first place because we all know sex causes babies.



overall it is your choice. Good luck! and congratulations!!!
If a child is not wanted by both should it be born? Yes, absolutely.



Keep the child, follow your heart, and do not get an abortion. Like you said, you are fully capable of taking care of this child. If your boyfriend does not want part in it, then that is his problem.
Hon, I'm sorry that you're going through this. And no, I don't think wanting to keep your baby is selfish at all. It sounds like the first abortion has haunted you for quite a while. I think you should bring that up to your boyfriend- tell him that you had one before and you feel like you've never gotten over it, and how hard it was for you.



If it was me, I'd tell him something along the lines of, ';I know this baby wasn't planned, but I can't go through an abortion again. I want- and need- to keep this baby. If you don't want to be a dad yet, and if you don't want to stay together, I understand, but let's talk this through first.';
Look you sound like a very mature and reasonable person. There is no reason not to keep this baby. It's normal that your BF is worried about money and his job and mortage but you will be able to make it work I promise that. Your baby did not ask to be created. U two created it and although they were not planned it seems like this will work. U 2 live together, ur both old enough to know whats right and wrong, u both work. U have 9 whole months to save money and secure a new job if need be.

You know what its like to go thorugh an abortion....u say u think about it all the time. Imagine going through that again. U are not forcing this baby on him. He chose to have sex with you and he is old enought o know there is always a chance even with Birth Control. If he doesnt want to be around then so be it. U can handle this on ur own.



No one can tell you what to do U have to make the best choice for you. But please dont let ur BF's worries sway ur decision.
I think you should keep your baby.

Your older %26amp; hopefully wiser and while being a single parent if that is what happens IS hard, but you can do it and the rewards are a hundred times worth the anxiety, fear your feeling now.



I was on the pill %26amp; totally not ready when I got pregnant but I wouldn't have wished my life any different. My Daughter is the light of my life and makes every day worth waking up for.



Money problems will always be there %26amp; there will always be a reason why not. Your body is telling you now is a great time to have a baby!
me and my partner have been together for a year got a one bedroom flat then i discovered i was pregnant we are both happy about this pregnancy and i must say were not in the best circumstances at the moment as he is in the army and leaving for Afghanistan 2 weeks after the baby is due so i will be bringing up our baby on my own. im not on loads of money and we dont have everything at the moment but we will cope as we love each other. my partner has worries about finances and cold feet but this is natural. alot of people cope and pull through but you do need to think about each other and do whats in your heart not your head.. say if you do have an abortion would you resent him for this

this must be very hard =(
if your boyfriend really loved you he would understand and help you to figure this out.

contraception should not just be down to you.

make sure you tell him your in this relationship together.

X
yes you should keep the baby, he is just being very selfish as long as you love you baby that's all it will ever need LOVE good luck