Men, Women and Relationships...?

******PLEASE BE SERIOUS ABOUT THIS AND TRY NOT TO BE RUDE AS IT IS NOT GREATLY APPRECIATED.*******

So, after numerous failed relationships, i've caught myself wondering what exactly was going on and if my mother was right by telling me once that I had a 5 mile radar for 'Assholes' when it came to men. (I've always found myself not being able to trust 'them' and always being suspicious. Why? Well, I'm not quite sure)...So anyway,



I didn't agree with her at first and it quite frankly did not make sense to me at that time but now, at the ripe age of 23, i am starting to wonder if maybe she was right. Am I really attracted to assholes?! Why is it so difficult to find that 'one' special person??



So after yet ANOTHER painfully failed relationship, i've decided to do something about my 'problem' and i've started reading books and doing a little research here and there about Men, Women and Relationships and i'd like some feed back! I mean, am i really the only one here that's coo-coo for Coco-Puffs or is there more to the story? I would love to hear other women's opinions and their feed back in general when it comes to Men and Relationships and how to sustain, achieve and keep a loving realtionship alive.



Once again, my dear mother, had this book that she thought would be helpful in my quest and i'm proud to say that i've read it and that it has helped quite a bit and i would like to actually have other people read it and see if you agree with some of it's method's and just the author's opinion and 'expertise' in general. Why you ask?! Well, i figured if it (somewhat) helped me, it should be able to help anybody and if not, well at least you've learned something new today that we can discuss. Like a wise man once told me: Knowledge is power my friend!!



My favorite quote of the whole book is right below. I think that 99% of women (especially the ones i know) have this kind of thinking to these particular items below. I know that I sure did and still do but i am working on that...It's quite a process let me tell you but hey, at least i'm doing something about it. Right?!



';When he (Man) is distracted, she assumes he doesn't love her. When he is late, she assumes that she is no longer important to him. When he forgets to do things, she assumes he is getting even.';



**Men, Women and Relationships by: John Gray, Ph.D.**



So please join me in this discussion and let me know what you think.



Thank you,

Men, Women and Relationships...?
i haven't read the book, but i have learnt a few things about relationships. where most relationships fall down is in the expectations. for instance, a woman might expect a man to keep a house clean because she wants him to, and he should do what makes her happy. but if it is not in his nature to keep a clean house, then he is unlikely to do it. she will think that he is doing it to spite her, when really it's just in his nature.



so, expectations create problems, because the people in the relationship see the other person not for who they are, but for who they think they should be. and that is bad.



mutual respect and trust are important, but so is showing that you love and respect someone. a man wants to be loved and to feel like he is looking after his lady/family, and a lady can either build him up or bring him down. if you want a happy relationship, be warm and giving with your compliments. be polite. so many people are much meaner to their partners than they would be to a stranger.



communication is important, but you might communicate in different ways. seek compromise.



and lastly respect yourself. if you do that, you will be less likely to let yourself be treated badly. we are in the relationships that we create for ourselves - so if men are treating you badly, it's because you let them do so, and don't demand any better. you need to be prepared to walk away if someone treats you badly. otherwise, you will continue to be in bad relationships.Men, Women and Relationships...?
I think men are from mars and women are from venus.



plenty of PhD accredited relationship experts have written about the psychological aspects of men and women and relationships, dating marriage and the whole nine yards.
Uh.. what was the question??
I've always believed that you attract what you put out there. For instance, if you are really interested in looks, the guys that come into your life will also be interested in looks. If you really value education, educated people will come into your life. This has always been my way of life and I am 40 years old now.

So.....this is what you need to do.

1) Describe in DETAIL what you desire in a man......money, education, looks, personality, muscles, etc (as many as possible)

2) Then, write in detail how he will treat you!!!! Even when you are sick, have a broken leg....etc....

3) Write all about your jobs (will he be home everynight or away? Will he have to travel? meet a lot of people?, entertain? etc)

4) Children...do you want them? How many? How will your partner treat them??? Who will be the caregiver? Nurturer? Disciplinarian,e tc...

5) What do you expect to happen in 1 month, 1 year and 5 years??? Where do you desire to be those time frames???



Watch it happen!!! Everytime I did this, my life has always followed course. Have fun, be specific and if I missed something, just add it. Follow your gut and write as much as you want. Once you ';put it out there'; it will come back to you.