Christians, how do you keep loving someone who is so hateful?

My mom married a man about 10 years ago. Since then, she has been depressed. He is a Christian but he has so much hate and anger toward me and my kids. He's a very difficult person to deal with. We had to live with them for awhile when I went through a divorce and he screamed at us constantly. Now, my mom is watching my kids at her house while I work and he's grouchy with the kids.





I'm concerned about having them over there and what it comes down to is I've realized that I've changed a lot since I've known him (in bad ways) and I'm just about ready to stop all contact with him. I just don't know what to do about this situation becuase my mom is married to him.





He doesn't speak to me and looks at me like he could kill me though I have done nothing to this man. I feel that I'm being pulled down by him and I'm not sure what to do. We go to the same church which has been my church my whole life. I have forgiven him and tried to love him and make peace with him but he just pulls me down.Christians, how do you keep loving someone who is so hateful?
WOW that is really tough and I am sorry to hear that. Going by what you said he doesn't sound like a Christian to me. He sounds bitter and unforgiving. These are not Christian virtues.





But I don't think its fair to put all christians in that category. I know lots of people that are 'good Christians' so plz don't let anyone deter you from having a real relationship with God just because their attitude stinks.





As a christian I had to forgive and love my dad who was very abusive I quit talking to him when I was 12 and at 29 I got saved. It was very hard for me to forgive him, but through prayer and reading the Word I was able.The Lord showed me just how pathetic and sad my dad is now if I think of him I just feel sorry for him.





If you put your trust in God He will guide you through read phi. 4:6-8





I will pray for you and yours


God bless%26lt;%26gt;%26lt;Christians, how do you keep loving someone who is so hateful?
Just dont give up. My brother is a vicious sob, but I gotta love him. everyone wants to be loved, no matter how they act. You just need to hold him close.
Corinthians 9:14 '; Even so hath the Lord ordained that they which preach the gospel should live of the gospel.'; You be the example of Christ , hopefully it will humble him.
Where's your husband. And it's time your mother stood up to this bloke and put him back in his place.
';He is a Christian but...'; No He IS Not. Going to church no more makes a person a christian, than going to McDonalds makes a person a fry cook.


Anyway to answer your question requires defining love. Love is an act of the will, not an emotion. (look in your websters dictionary) You can only do your part which is what G-d expects from you. You cannot control his actions, G-d wil deal with him. I know it is difficult, but remind yourself of what Yeshua/Jesus did. Even though his own turned against him, he still sacrificed for them (and us).
Okay, let me get this straight. He is hateful towards you and your kids because you have made bad choices? Your mother and the rest of your church family tolerate his behavior towards you and your kids because??? Little sister, you and your mother both seem to have a twisted idea of what is acceptable behavior in a Christian man. I do not care if you are the biggest tramp in town, and I am not saying you are, that is no excuse for him to be hateful towards his wife's grandchildren. Why don't you just ask Mom to watch the kids at your place and ask her to bring him with you to get pastoral family counseling? I hope you get this worked out for the sake of your kids. Feel free to e-mail me if you want a sounding board. God bless you and your family.
i had a stepfather who was abusive to my Mother, me and my sisters, he also cheated on my mom and when i thought we would finally leave him she came back to him. I felt cheated and hurt, because i stood up to him for my family and the only thing i got in return is abuse, during that time i was filled with hate and anger not only to him but to my mother for accepting him. Eventually he abandon us when my mother gave birth to our youngest sister and never came back.





I ask my mother if she had the chance to change the past would she do it?


and she answered no, because then she wouldn't have my brother and sisters. I learnt from my mother that although she may not be always perfect, her love for her children is.





So I moved on with my life, i know i had to forgive my stepfather, because if i dwell on the past hurt he had caused i could never move on and heal. And in the end i would only hurt the people whom i love around me





And in the end turning me just like him.
Sounds tough. Personally I don't have any love for hateful people who are cruel to others for no reason. terrible I know, but I can't help it :( Some people are just unnecessarily hateful and messed up and I can't stand people like that. Personally I wouldn't focus so much on loving him as much as I would staying away from him
To begin with, I would ask mom to insist that he gets a medical checkup for his own health. sometimes as we get older we have things working on us like blood pressure, and diabetes that can make a nice person 'grouchy' without realizing it.


You can always talk to your pastor and have him talk to the stepfather to see what is going on.


If these two do not work out, then you must remove the children from this environment-it is not healty for them. while it may be a strain on you for a while it will be better in the long run.





Take Care--and God bless. %26lt;%26gt;%26lt; %26lt;%26gt;%26lt; %26lt;%26gt;%26gt;%26lt;
Christians, how do you keep loving someone who is so hateful? ... so you hate him just as much as he hates you.





if it helps, remember yr place, he is yr step-parent. As such, give him due respect and teach yr children to do the same.





If you can maintain the respect, you do well. We are called to righteousness.
If you want to love someone despite their actions toward you, then lose yourself in service towards them. It will change both of your guys' hearts. This is why charity is the greatest Christ-like attribute. This is why charity never faileth.
You are really going a hard way. We should not hate a person we should hate his sins and as you said that man hates you for no reason that is the problem which i don't understand what is the reason behind it. Did you try to find out this there might be some reason for this act of his. Try to find that reason and solve it if you can but if you can't let it be on God but as he is your father don't do any bad act to him and pray to God as He sees everything.
Since Mom will not do anything about it, maybe you should have a private talk with your pastor.





Things like this need to be told to him first so he can possibly discuss the situation and how you feel about what's going on.


He can ask dad for a private talk as well and get the two of you together at one point.


The light need to be shined on darkness sometime, to clear stuff up.


That may get the step dad to talk, so you can see what his problem is.





Print your whole story up-there just the way it is and let your pastor read it. (your first thoughts are always the best ones.)
It's evil spirit's works on the man...the man becomes jealous, get mad very easily, love to make evil things....





Stay away from him...pray always for your strength and courage...and the good of your family...let God decide what He wants on him...





I ever had experience with such a man...
What will Jesus do in your situation. You just keep loving him, praying for him and believing God to change him for the better.
(Romans 12:20-21) . . .But, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by doing this you will heap fiery coals upon his head.” 21 Do not let yourself be conquered by the evil, but keep conquering the evil with the good.


(Romans 12:18) . . .If possible, as far as it depends upon YOU, be peaceable with all men.





You should find a balance between these two scriptures.
Can you talk to your mother about this? Maybe she is unhappy too and is just hanging in there to keep the peace. If you are worried about the kids being there, don't take them. Plain and simple. Find a sitter to keep the kids. Maybe you are too dependent on your mother. Maybe that is why he resents you. I know my husband resented providing a living for my son temporarily because he didn't live up to his standards. My husband felt I was my sons crutch and he had to foot the bill. Maybe that isn't your case. Just a thought. Stop going over there for awhile and take your kids somewhere else. See if that helps. If not, then tell your Mom what you have done and why and see if she can shed some more light.
';He is a Christian but he has so much hate and anger toward me and my kids';








Yep sounds real Christ like





ignore the loser, show your mom love and forget him
Christ-like love is all about service. It isn't enough to just be nice to people.


';For if ye love them which love you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?';


Matthew 5:46





Christ-like love isn't just an emotion or feeling, but a way acting towards everyone around you.





';But I say unto you, Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you;';


Matthew 5:44





What have you done for your father in law? Have you waxed his car or shined his shoes? Christ taught us to go beyond societies' expectations, and give much more than what is expected.





';And if any man will sue thee at the law, and take away thy coat, let him have thy cloke also.';


Matthew 5:40





Do not allow his actions to determine how you should act. You can be gracious and loving at all times to all people. When he says some negative or demeaning remark, realize that his words come from his heart. Many people in life are heart-sick. They have been spiritually poisoned. Don't take it too personally. Satan tries to pull down all men, and rob them of their virtue. No matter how negative a person responds, remember that they too are a child of God, and as such they are lovable. If we cannot love an individual, then the weakness lies within us and not them.


Many people pretend to love people in order to use them. This kind of love is toxic. It drives people away from love, and away from God. So don't just smile and pretend to love your father-in-law. Go mow his lawn, or wax his car. And do it without expecting so much as a thank you in return. Set your standards a little higher than a ';publican';. People have inate worth, and the human soul is beautiful. If you don't believe me, just ask God.
without even reading the rest just answering the question.. you should never reward bad behavior.. so its something like love them no matter what but doesn't mean you have to deal with anyones b.s.