Relationship Advice for a man in love with a woman who left him?

Look guys, I know this is somewhat trivial but I really need some outside perspectives on this... Spare me any bullshit... I'm having a very difficult time in my life... Keep in mind I am 19 years old but by no means does that mean I don't know a thing or two. At any rate, I began dating this girl last October. She is 19, has a somewhat downtrodden home, full of cats, and her mother and her mom's boyfriend pay the bills... So we were dating and I moved in and well...

Things were good for a while. And we fell in love. She's an amazing woman, far from a girl, reserved, classy, intelligent... but she has addictions just as I do. I spent a lot of time being insincere, chasing drugs, I never cheated on her but I was never as good to her as I could have been. In January, my mother broke up with her boyfriend, and was in a bad situation a few towns away.. So we agreed to take her in.

Things were ok, they became friends... Drank together every now and then, etc... Well, my mom got her taxes back and she basically drank herself to death. This happened in March. I got a little crazed.

Things became strained. I made some cruel remarks and became distant. A week after her death I was kicked out of her house but we were still dating... Things gradually became more strained. She called for a monogamous break.

I tried, but eventually I became abrasive and angry about the whole ordeal... So she broke it off altogether. But things were not hopeless.

I then became extremely emotional, sensitive, pathetic... Endless apologies, promises, love letters, you name it. I revealed my worst side to her. And she has reached the point where she told me there was no hope of us getting back together. And it crushed me.

So I tried even harder, spilled more emotions, denied her her space.

Then I tried to calm down. But every time I stopped by I couldnt help but bring the topic of our relationship up. Because the fact of the matter is, I guess I didn't know what I had until she was gone...

I truly love this woman and she has no idea how much I really do,

how much I would give for her, how much I would change...

I know she is an individual and has her own mindframe, but ****.....

So she let me stay the night in the other room a week or two ago,

and last night she let me stay on the bed with her but no touching.

She flinches in disgust when I go to hug her goodbye...

Her house was foreclosed on, she has like 20 something cats and doesn't know where they'll go, and has to get an absurd amount of credits to graduate in time. And she says she's not really concerned about our relationship right now. Which I really do understand.

I don't mean to come off as so extreme. I just have this hopeless idealism of true love. Maybe it isn't meant to be. Maybe someone else has caught her eye. But we're on the same intellectual wavelength,

and the only man in question is a fool who has a truck. She claims they're friends, maybe he's a tool, maybe not. So I guess what I'm trying to ask is have any of you seen or had doomed relationships come back from the dead? And ladies, have you ever had a man push you away to the point of disgust, and thought you were done with him,

but realized you loved him and took him back? Any advice? Do you think after being my mother's friend and being by my side when they took her off life support she could really leave me and hook up with someone else so soon? Could someone be so heartless? Is it possible she wants me, but not as I am? Maybe her logic is I have to help and love myself before she can love me? And a lot of people have told me I need to quit being such a downer around her because it is a huge turnoff... Any advice people?

I'm on my 4th day of not calling her, and I realize I need to take a step back before this becomes a full blown obsession. I'm young, but I was in love once and it didn't work out. I never thought I would get over it, but then I found this girl, and now I'm back to square one...

Would it make a difference if I fell off the radar and didn't call her for a while? Or based on what you've heard, does it seem hopeless?

I know there are so many variables, but any advice would be helpful.

I'm not trying to be melodramatic. I really do love her.....

Should I move on? Or do you think leaving her be might cause her to realize she might just miss me? Well I'm rambling, detailed feedback would be much appreciated. I don't know what to do...Relationship Advice for a man in love with a woman who left him?
Yeah you are rambling on and on!

Well give your ex gf some time and ask her out again when shes ready.

Im sorry your mom passed away.

I would be cold and bitter too if that happened to mine.