Would you stay married to a man you didn't love?

I got pregnant when I was still in college. I was having a long distance relationship, we ended up getting married, had another baby. Fast forward 10years, I have been miserable for years. About 3 years ago I realized while I love this man I am not in love with him ,never really have been. I was so young when this all started I was 22 and he was 38 . I met him through a mutual friend who basically pushed us together. Now I am 33 he is turning 50 he is a wonderful person, funny, loyal, good provider and dad. But the problem is I am not in love with him. I have been just like going through the motions of life without really living it. If you know what I mean, I have this great life except it is with someone I don't want to be with. I don't want my children to suffer but I don't know how much longer I can keep pretending that he is the love of my life. I don't want to hurt him. He really is a great man. Any suggestions? We have tried therapy, seperate and together.Would you stay married to a man you didn't love?
I learned a long time ago that your own happiness IS a good enough reason to end a relationship. And do not listen to all of these people saying wait till the kids are older and stuff like that, it is a bunch of bull. My parent split when I was 8 and my life was better after they split then when they were together.Would you stay married to a man you didn't love?
I think you should at least wait untill your kids are 18 years old . But if he is a good man think it over relly good before leaving.Trust me.
Don't make the kids suffer because you made a bad decision. If he is such a great guy and great father and he's not abusing you or the kids, stick it out until they are 18 and out of the house. Don't make them go through a divorce and a weekend daddy.
try therapy. its always best to try and work things out before just ending it...if you are not in love with him then it would be best to go your seperate ways and end things in a civil manner. try therapy and talk! tell him how you feel.
I'm not married but my sister just went through a very similar situation and my advice to you is that you have to do what you need to do to make yourself happy...I know you don't ever want to think that your kids are a mistake but do you think you would have continued dating or seeing him if you hadn't gotten pregnant? No offense...but you are an individual and although you have the security and family and he is a good man...if you are miserable then make some changes...maybe you two can seperate from one another for a while and try dating again to see IF you may fall in love with each other again...it seems as though you two never really had that dating period....sometimes we have to think outside of the box no matter how corny it may sound...if you are not willing to do that then explain to him that you have tried and the only way you see yourself being happy is to be out on your own....stay friends definitely for the kids sake but live your life...plus with you being so young and in college at the time of meeting him...YOU haven't had that opportunity to live life and go through the things an average 22 year old woman experiences....he was 38 meaning he has been there and done it and you have just settled....Good luck with whatever decision you make...but most importantly make yourself happy...you are still an individual...
people say to stay until your kids are 18, but your denying yourself a life if you do that. my advice to you is to take care of yourself, and the rest will fall into place. don't deny your own happiness!
A great man. Thank your lucky stars and realize what you have before it is too late! I suggest a different therapist. Seriously. Don't make a foolish decision. You are extremely blessed by your description of your husband. Can he say the same about you?
Love is a choice. You chose not to love this man. I think you got married to young and now want to live it up because now your husband is older.
Have you considered trying a different therapist? I hate to see you give up on some much history. Going through the same myself - been together for over 20 years and unhappy for the about the last ten.



Really trying to find something to keep it going. Working on falling back in love with eachother. Good luck!
what happend during therapy? did you talk about this? Or were there other issues? I am a parent and disagree that you should stay together until your kids are 18. What is the point of that? My husbands parents sorta did that and he knew that they weren;t in love, so why is that better? Yes divorce can be hard on the kids, but as long as he is as great as you say and will continue to be a great dad, the kids will survive. You could agree to keep them in the current house, live very near each other and continue to love those kids, just not all in one household. You might want to revisit counseling and discuss this exact issue. He might feel the same way, or agree that you both ahve the right to be happy. good luck.
You didn't explain what miserable means to you.....You did say he is a wonderful person...they are hard to find, he's funny, imagine not having humor in your life with someone else, he's loyal, is that not the most wonderful thing? He's a good provider and Dad....so the only thing you didn't say he was, was loving, sexual, exciting etc......but, believe me he has so many good...good quality's are you sure you're miserable? You may start changing yourself...soon you will be challenged with menopause...and you will feel all kinds of emotions. Has he always been there for you? Maybe the children take up so much time you have forgotten to be together as Husband and Wife....I can speak from experience I had the same kind of Husband once and I would love to be with him today...I felt the same as you , until years later I realized just how much we did share, life will never be the same if you leave, when family's split up it changes so many things......there's not much better to have than the man who is already so wonderful....so, stay with the one you know.......not want one you don't...trust me....find a way to learn to love him if he's all that, then he's worth keeping...find a way to find yourself in love with this wonderful man.
I think you are confused. Seek counceling. Can you think of some action that would change your life for the better ? I think not.
you're lucky to have a wonderful husband...Please don't create youre own problem. Husband like yours is what most of the girls wanted to have. Just preoccupy yourself on something that can keep make you busy like work etc so that you will not focus too much on your emotion. Better yet, think of a way of making your family happy. Have you given a little of your love to your husband? Try doing it. Don't be too self centered. You have received more from him, this time try also giving even a little in what he has given you. My dear, you're blessed to have a good husband and children. Don't do such act that make you regret later. remember this saying, ';You will only realize the value of a thing when you lose it';.
Alot of women do stay with men they don't love, but it's not good. The problem with your relationship is that there's a significant age gap, that will widen with time. I suggest that you lay your cards out on the table with him and tell him the truth about your feelings. Get out if you're not happy and find yourself someone closer to your own age.