what i look for in a guy, is not sex; not fake romance; not a 2 day date.
i'm worth more, i deserve better, and all the guys i come across in life, just either want sex, or a 2 day date, with lots and lots of dramas involved; and a little bit of what i call *fake* romance. lying is consistent...and this is really not what i want. and therefore, i pretty much lost my trust over these people.
what i rather want is love; someone who cares, when they speak their words. and know what their talkin about. and they won't lie to me, or take advantage of me. which most guys tend to do these days. i look for someone who will inspire me and appreciate me in everything i do. those are two things i've always lacked. i have some parents who think my dream is a trash. i have a girlfriend who will completely toss out my ambition, coz she thinks it's impossible. and out of ALL THESE PEOPLE, the entire crowd i have, the only person to appreciate it and to say that he knows i will make it, is this guy. 39 year old. has a 13 year old boy. slightly shorter in height. but you know when we have a conversation, we aint talkin romance, we aint talkin how we go to bed, we aint talkin how to fall in love, we're just talkin about a normal life... like what he did to reach his ambition, which is the same as mine, and what i should be doin to reach the same place. at this point, it seems like i can trust NO ONE with myself, not even my parents, because my ambition is just plain bogus to them. i gave my heart out to many people, many guys, that i regret i have, and you know they could never take care of it. even my parents, some people i love so much, like to play my heart like a toy. i see i'm not cared for at all. i know i'm not. and it didn't bother me all this time, until i came across this man. i call him 10 thousand times in a day, just to tell him what i wanna do... and how down i feel. coz i have no one else to tell to. and he will listen...ask questions, NOT once does he seem disturbed, or not interested.....at first i thought we were JUST friends.. and i wanted to keep it that way. but the more i'm talking to him, the more i'm attracted. i hide my feelings way deep down, so he can't tell. but ..... i don't know if it's normal. it could just seem rediculous to you. but it's an event in my life, i wanted to ask about. i don't think he feels the same way about me as i do about him. i don't think he looks at me more than just a friend. even though he just told me yesterday, that he cared about me. but...i just wanted to know, how you would feel about it. even a month back, if somebody had asked me this question, i would've called it SICK because i wasn't in it. now that i am, ..... what's your reaction?19 year old woman, 39 year old man. weird? but isn't *love* about the connection of two souls?
stop making it a big deal and nobody will care19 year old woman, 39 year old man. weird? but isn't *love* about the connection of two souls?
This is disgusting...
I didn't read it all, but I would feel weird going out with a 19 year old girl. I'm 28.
To the man, it's all about the other connection.
Very weird.
He is almost old enough to be her father.
That is gross.
Its another May-December love affair.
Well if you love him you should marry him if he was 50 or 80 thats a different story but 39 that's sill young so go for it.
Do what you want. Its your life. Its all about maturity not age. I personally think thats too big of an age difference. MAYBE MAYBE 29, but 39 is a bit on the creepy side.
It's very gross. He is dating you for other reasons, and it's mainly because you are 19 and interested in him...
Well, my dad is 41, and he got married almost a decade ago, and he's married to a woman 12 years older than him. It's not sick, really, it's just that love doesn't care about age. HOWEVER, don't scare the guy off hun. Some of the greatest loves of our lives will be for people that won't love us back the same way. Keep it to yourself for now, you don't want to lose such a great friendship. You might make the poor guy uncomfortable if you tell him your feelings, and if it's meant to be, you'll get together later. For now, just revel in the fact that you have such a wonderful guy for a friend.
Out of the ordinary but..stranger things have been known to happen in life. For example, a couple of deers eating a dead coyote...
hes gonna die before you graduate college
date his son and see if thats weird DA
You are closer to being a teen, hence nine teen, than you are to being a woman, dont kid yourself. You will be a woman soon enough, lets hope its before the big P word
oh please, he got you to believe its not about sex?
he knows how to get you
You make it so easy, anyone can read your post and agree you are under his spell, and you think it is that hes your soulmate. This man is only thinking with his little head. Please get smart, just why did he divorce or never marry?
Love who you wanna love!!! Follow your heart.
Do i think it is sick for you to like a 39 year old?
no comment.....
ahhhh, girl i've had points in my life when i could relate to your situation EXACTLY, that's kinda crazy lol! i like older guys too - they have their **** together and they're more mature. from your explanation, it looks like what you really want and need is a good friend, so just make sure that you don't need him more than he needs you. i've learned that the hard way.
i think i speak for most people when i say that it is strange and sort of creepy
but i also think i speak for most people when i say do whatever makes you happy.
you know the dude better than any of us do. if his intentions are as true as yours then the age difference shouldn't matter.
let it unfold...the only thing is you might give up a chance to have children becuz of his age. he may not want them. but who cares about age...if you like him go for it. I dated a guy 18 years older than me and it ended for the same reasons when i dated a guy 3 years older than me. just be careful and dont let your vulnerable side take advantage of you. He may not want to date you becuz of your age so dont push the issue...let it straigtn itself out
wrong window..
You seem to have a history of relationships that have disappointed you and/or made you feel hurt/betrayed. As a general rule, unless you do the personal work to understand your role in those relationships.. and take the uncomfortable time to learn about yourself..to gain personal strength (i.e. learn self love, self trust, self nurturing, feeling self confidence in facing the world, self respect, etc.), you will continue repeating your relationship patterns. This means you are likely to continue embarking on relationships that hurt you and foster your distrust in other people. The fact that you say ';I call him 10 thousand times in a day'; reinforces the idea you are, as an individual, needing work in these areas.
The reason most people view a 39 year old spending so much time ';nurturing'; a 19 year old.. is because most people would perceive this as ';grooming'; for a seduction. Thirty nine year olds generally know how to ';work';women that they want to have sex with. They know how to make women feel important, like they care, etc. etc. etc. While 19 year olds generally don't know themselves very well.. and naturally feel lost and or insecure. This makes for an ';easy target'; for the guy.
I hate to tell you this, but my gut feeling says your once again setting yourself up for a HUGE hurtful disappointment. Generally, guys much older .. interested in insecure women, turn into abusive control freaks.
The fact that he allows you to call ';10,000 times in a day'; indicates he's not too healthy himself. In addition, a question to ask yourself is why is he not interested in any of the millions of women within a decade of his own age? Very odd. Or... is there something about him that women closer to his age are put off by? Just something to consider.
My vote is distance yourself from this guy. Even though you are calling him, my gut tells me he's ';grooming'; you.. and he is a predator.
The fact you've posed this question here suggests that on some level, you sense this too. Something's not right.
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