Should I choose my husband or my first true love or my current boyfriend? (In love with three men help...)?

Unfortunately, I am in love with three men and I swear to you I'm not trolling. I am in love with my husband, my ex-boyfriend and my current boyfriend. I'm 38 years old and the men I love are more or less my age except for my current boyfriend. I feel terrible for doing this to them and they are all amazing guys. So, I have to make a choice and I'd appreciate some advice and opinions. Here's my story:





I met and fell in love with a man named Jerry while we were in college and we dated steadily for over three years(1990-1993). He was my first love and the first man I've ever had sex with. During my fourth year in college in 1993, I had to spend four months in Europe studying abroad. Jerry and I had a big argument before I left for Europe but we didn't exactly breakup. While I was in Europe, I met Edward. Although I've never seen him around, he was also studying abroad and he was attending the same college as Jerry and me. Edward and I started studying together and then dating and then falling in love. The closer I got to Edward, the farther apart I got from Jerry. When I returned to Los Angeles, I told Jerry that I fell for someone else so we broke up and it broke his heart. Edward and I stayed together, finished college, got married in 1998 and had our son Cody in 2001. Edward and I had a great marriage for the most part except those 2 times I found out he was cheating on me. His last affair was in 2004 and Edward has done an amazing job making it up to me and trying to mend my broken heart. Jerry and I reunited via Myspace in February 2008 through a mutual friend who attended college with us. Jerry is divorced with two children. Sparks started flying again, we met up in person and I proceeded to have an affair with Jerry while married to Edward. I still love Jerry but I had no plans on leaving Edward. Jerry feels no remorse about dating me because he feels as though Edward ';robbed'; him of what he could have had with me. True. In college, Edward did tell me to make a choice between him and Jerry and I chose Edward. I must say that both of them were immature ';jocks'; back in college trying to compete for the same girl. Anyway, after two months of reconnecting with Jerry, Edward found out about him. He was hurt and he moved out in April 2008 but we still remained legally married. How come a woman can forgive her husband for cheating but not the other way around? Although I continued to sleep with Jerry, I didn't commit myself to him. In June 2008, I met Landon. He was single, handsome, 30 years old, smart, funny, fun, mature, no kids etc. Landon and I have been dating ever since and we moved in together two months ago. I'm really in love with this man. Ever since Edward and I separated, we would occasionally sleep together and sometimes discuss reconciling. Just like I'm in a relationship with Landon now, Edward has a girlfriend of his own. Now, Edward is sick of ';playing games'; with me, he told me if I want to give our marriage another chance he will dump his girlfriend Rose and I'll dump Landon. If not, he's staying with Rose, I'm staying with Landon and we're getting a divorce. It's a hard decision.





I'm in love with Edward, our marriage was wonderful and it was that ONE mistake with Jerry that ruined it all. Not to mention, it breaks my heart when I have to hold my son while he's crying about missing his daddy. But on the other hand, I'm still hurt from Edward's past infidelity so now he knows how it feels to be cheated on. I love Jerry and I always looked back and felt bad about the way I betrayed him in college. So I do feel as though I owe him for that. I'm happy with Landon and I love him so much. He treats me with the utmost respect and he's so understanding. I'm sure he knows that I still have feelings for my husband but he has NO idea about Jerry. I don't want to keep doing this. Whichever one I choose, the other two will be hurt. What would you do if you were me?Should I choose my husband or my first true love or my current boyfriend? (In love with three men help...)?
I say Landon, and here's why:





When you left to go study abroad, you knew you were going for a couple of months, And, being as young as you were, you must have known that it would have been entirely possible for you to meet and date someone else. And that did happen. So you dated Edward and realized what a catch he was, married him, and had your son. Everything seemed to have been going great, even though Edward did cheat....but, he's really tried to hold your marriage together, and his affair did not sound like anything serious, like he would have broken up your marriage over the other woman. As for Jerry, sorry but he sounds like a real jerk. If he felt that he was ';robbed'; of you, that is a really childish thing to say, for one thing, but he then felt entitled to have you, even if it was on the side. What a creep!!





Your mistake was going onto myspace and reuniting with Jerry. Things should have been fine with Edward, but you took it way further than just a couple of friendly how-you-doing chats. And you were ultimately responsible for this happening.





To me, it sounds like you can't let go of Jerry and Edward. I'm not sure what you're hanging onto but your life is a bouncing ball between these guys and I can't see what you're getting out of it, especially now that you have a son to take care of. Yes, two of the guys will be hurt but it will be worth it to you to finally just pick ONE and get on with your life. I hate to see you leave Edward since he is your husband but this is what needs to happen. Go with Landon, you love him and he sounds like a great guy.Should I choose my husband or my first true love or my current boyfriend? (In love with three men help...)?
Put the interests of your son first, and not yourself. Then go see a therapist for this chronic lying problem you seem to have. Relationships are built on trust, you don't trust your husband, and you have to lie to the others. Get over yourself, toots, you're freakin' 38. Time to act like an adult.
I hate to say it, but truly loving someone is loving them and them alone. If you can't exclusively love one man, then you don't truly love him. I think you may want to try marriage counseling- it could help you and your husband sort some things out.
You made me mad.
Stay with your husband
she santa will stuff a toy in your stocking..HO HO HO
... I now have a headache
Do all men a favor...put these three on pause and go see a professional therapist. You need to figure 'you' out a little bit more.
Oh goodness gracie Girl! How do you fall in love with 3 guys? Edward, your husband, he cheated on you! TWICE! The first suspicion of unfaithful-ness is when that man should have gone. When you give him second chances, he looses respect for you cause he knows he can love another woman and you not care. He needs to know that not your not going to tolorate this cheating he doing and as long as your around it wont be happening. And did you say you both have other people you are seeing?! That is the most messed-up, weird, unhealthy relationship problem I have EVER herd. Im sorry but come on Girl, Make up your MIND! This isnt high-school, these arent little boys and you cant play with their hearts like this! This is the REAL world and these are GROWN MEN and it shocks me that someone would handle it the way you are. My advice, forget them all. Once thats over, you need to go into your heart and you will find which man you want to spend the rest of your life with. Whether its one of them or not the time to make a decision was a longggg time ago.


I hope i helped hun (:


-Chelsea
I vote Jerry.





Landon seems a little young and Edward is a cheat.





Jerry waited a lifetime for you to come back to him. Seems a bit more devotion then any other man is showing you.
I'd get myself into some counseling to find out what was wrong with me to make me unable to be happy with anyone for long. It sounds like you haven't matured much past high school age. You don't betray those you truly love. Have you sat down and thought about what love is to you, what it means to you? You have some feelings towards three different men, for different reasons. That doesn't mean you are in love with all three of them. Only taking a break from ALL of them and getting to know your own heart is going to make you see things clearly. Saying you are in love w/ three different men sounds like something a man would say, not a woman. Are you certain you aren't a troll?
do not go back with Jerry. YOU DONT OWE HIM ANYTHING. nothing was ';stolen'; from him. that excuse makes me so angry! it's just the way things happened. forget about this meat head. You wrote





';Jerry feels no remorse about dating me because he feels as though Edward ';robbed'; him of what he could have had with me.';





..............THIS IS A BAD SIGN!!! do you really want the man you choose over your husband/ father of your son to feel like you ';owe'; him something just because you told him it was over and tried to pursue your own life and happiness?? that's a load of crap and obviously he doesnt care about you very much!! a real man would feel guilt about seeing a married woman. if he feels no remorse about letting you cheat on Edward, then he'll feel no remorse about next time he cheats on you. end of story!!!! trust me...





forget about landon. you've known the man two months!! that may have been cool and alright in college, but you're a mother now. you have a huge responsibility on your hands. besides, you're already lying to him just 2 months into the relationship (';he has NO idea about Jerry. I don't want to keep doing this.';). that's a terrible sign. it means bad things for your future with him.





the obvious choice is to stay with your husband. now that you've both cheated on each other, there will be no blaming of ';who did worse,'; although normally i would never, ever reccomend staying with somebody who cheated on you. ONCE A CHEATER, ALWAYS A CHEATER! so if you stay with your husband, you will both have to really work hard and change. a marriage is a partnership, not a vacation. it is not a dream or fantasy...it is a committment and a challenge. of course it has its rewards, but so does everything. so go back to the father of your son. Cody needs a family. my family exploded into misery and chaos when i was nine and boy, did it suck.





you need to try to put Cody first here and feel lucky that your marriage has (somewhat) survived so much infedelity. Let go of your college and dating days. you're a mother now and you belong with your husband and father of your son, working on your marriage to fix this very sticky situation.





but be VERY delicate with how you handle things. your husband now has at least one other woman in his life (Rose) and you have three. never take your husband and family for granted.








all that being said, i hope you don't take offense to anything i've written. i just genuinely want to help. i don't know you therefore i cannot judge you. but good luck and i hope you are happy in the end.
Ok if this truely is serious, this is a pretty crazy situation. I think that you and your husband need some serious counseling, but it sounds like in every situation you've been in you have always loved Edward. You both cheated and so that puts you back at the same level. IF I was you, I would stay with my Husband. He after all he is your HUSBAND ya know, and it sounds like your child really needs some stability. Be mature and stick to your Husband like an adult, especially for your kid.








You broke my heart when you said he was crying for his Daddy, and I'm not even his Mother. The child needs his Father.
Go to CODA meetings and put my child first. You sound very selfish and like you don't love yourself. need others to validate you. you can really make a nice life for yourself if you put the effort into you instead of 3 men.
Well to me I am sorry but until you figure out what you want I don't think you deserve any of them. Don't be with someone who is going to cheat on you, just because they make it up doesn't mean they wont do it again. If you can't decided who is the right person than maybe none of them are and you just need seperate from all of them and find someone else.
For that you should see http://ehelpp.com


it will be helpful in resolving your problem.keep using answers.yahoo.com
Wow. You need a break from all three of them and to focus on your son. Step back and stop thinking about what you want and do what is best for your son...because at the end of the day... he is the most important ';man'; in your life. He is probably hurting and confused and if you are bringing different men in and out of his life and your husband is doing the same with women then this poor child is going to have more issues than you and your husband ever even thought about.
It is so easy to be in love with more than one person at a time, that is why we only marry one and a time, or if we are dating only date one at a time, it is not fair to either party otherwise. When we behave otherwise it is a reflection of us as a person and not the people we are in the relationship with as a lack in character and backbone.
...................


ok........


stay with ur husband for the sake of your kid


the other two, u had fun with, but fun isn猫t sth u can live on for life..


Edward on the other hand is the one that you've had wonderful marriage with..


marriage is hard to maintain


but since u have alreayd maintained it for so long.. u'll be able to keep going


the other two, who knows what tey'll be like once u r married? o.O


anyway


sounds complicated


but if i were u


i'd stick with my husband