What do you guys think of this?

Soft and red,

It was her shelter from fear

Protecting her from each evil tear.



The night that her life changed forever

Was a night everyone would always remember.

The night that had been filled with crying.



Her daddy had too much to drink that night,

And mommy struggled with all her might.

She couldn’t stop him from

Starting that fight.



Mommy took each blow

To ensure that her daughter was able to grow.

Grow to be big,

Grow to be strong,

And grow to be tough.

But most of all she wanted her to know when and how far was

ENOUGH.



She knew that she should have left him,

But love kept her at his side.

Love too strong to break.

Love imperishable,

And unfake.



Nights have gone,

Nights tragic and nights too bad to draw on.

She still remained loyal.



Ally’s cherry red cheeks matched that tone in her protector’s fleece

The one that was truly the only one to sooth her…

The satiny red,

Floppy eared puppy,

That in which was provided to her from her mother.



Enough had been enough,

Ally knew that…

She picked up the receiver,

And dialed the number she knew that would never deceive her.

A kind voice from the other end

asked for the problem,

And knew that it wasn’t pretend.



Dispatch was sent

Which meant a lot.

But before they arrived,

Daddy let out two loud shots.

He had deprived

Mommy and himself of both their lives.



Alone and scared

In a corner she sat.

No one to talk to,

No one at all.

Minutes passed by,

Tears began to fly.



In through the door they came,

Two, then three more.

They saw her alone on the floor.



In his arms she felt safe,

didn’t want to leave the comfort of his lap.

She told them this,

They knew not of who she spoke,

Instead they made her go

And later announced it for the world to know.



A man and a woman

Welcomed her into their home.

A new family

Of a new race and tone.

She was loved as their own,

But still she thought about the look upon her mommy’s face

And before the night when it was always full of grace.



Each day that night rang inside her head,

Right before she was tucked away in bed.

What a dreadful evening that was,

Would she ever again be able to trust,

Not just men,

Or future husband,

But life as a whole?



Cruel and evil it has always been,

She was only seven and knew it then.

“Mommy is my hero, and will always be.”

Said each night and each day,

She began to believe,

Believe in love,

Believe in men,

Believe in everything once again…



He helped her, and continued to,

He was there for eternity…What do you guys think of this?
I think it's beautiful. Don't listen to the naysayers (ie:Prometheus). What we write is all subjective. There will always be people that love what we write and then those who hate it.

Don't let it stop you from expressing yourself or from continuing to pursue your gift of sharing the world from your perspective.

It's beautiful because it's unique to you!



And I love the moral =)



';Believe in love,

Believe in men,

Believe in everything once again.';What do you guys think of this?
very nice..
Indulgent.



Not very good....



It's like a cheap dramatic shot. Have you read a decent poem before? Poems show, they don't tell. What you've done is a telling of a rather unfortunate incident with a rhyme scheme. What do you contribute to the language with your poetry? There's nothing original, no new takes on the topic, nothing anybody else couldn't have have made given enough time and effort.

It's kind of like that crap they poster those Abuse Prevention with.



It's not poetry if it's just a story. There are no original metaphors... it's decent if it was your first...
Aww, that was a really sad and cute poem. i really liked it, it was pretty good! a long time ago i wrote a poem on the same topic.
It's good but its really long and seems to go on more like a story and less like a poem. But it's still good.
ok
That's really good! It gets the story across well which is sometimes hard to do with poetry. It reminds me of that song, ';The Little Girl'; but I don't know who sings it.
very good loved it sad but loved it
that's so sad !!

but it was really good

i liked it =)