My boyfriend is driving me crazy and I don't know what to do?

';When I move in I am going to steal your hot new dresser component'; my boyfriend said to me last night on the phone. He was joking, I was telling him about this hot new dresser I just bought earlier that day at Target. I told him to go ahead and steal it if he wanted to get beat up.



We are both in our early 20's, we met in college, graduated together and started dating shortly after. We have been dating exclusively for 2 years now. I want him to move in with me, he wants to also, but there is something keeping him and I'm not sure what it is or what I can do to accelerate the moving in process. He tells me he needs a better job in the city, right now he's living at home with mommy and daddy delivering pizzas 4 nights a week. He lives about 2 hours away but still manages to come into the city (usually twice a week) to hang out. I feel like if he were seriously in love with me he would do anything to be with me on the regular, like he would feel motivated to get a real job and get his act together. (I think he may have some form of social anxiety that's preventing him from getting a real job, he's super smart and has his degree).



After reading books like ';He's Just Not That Into You'; and ';Why Men Love Bitches'; and ';Attracting and Keeping the Man of Your Dreams'; I feel like he's not living up to what he should be doing if he was really in love with me. I want to start building a life together, we are currently planning a vacation together to the pacific northwest, we have goals and dreams. I don't know why I keep going home to an empty apartment everyday and wishing for a live in companion. I know I am not supposed to be clingy and talk about it, I know the rules, I've read them all, I abide by them for the most part.



What should I do? I feel like there is really nothing I can do, like its far beyond my control, I don't want to offer ultimatums or threaten to leave or anything like that, but I don't want to keep waiting around for him to move in. I feel like I am living my life in angst and part of me is angry with him for leading me on and not giving me a definitive time line or move in date. It upsets me knowing that he feels like its no big deal to keep me waiting around, after I tell him ';I would like to move in'; and ';when are you moving in?'; He thinks its ok to shrug his shoulders and say ';soon.'; When I ask him what soon means, he gets really frustrated and shuts down.



How should I deal with this? Have any of you experienced something like this? What did you do?My boyfriend is driving me crazy and I don't know what to do?
The reason you are angry is that you do not have the guts to move on in life--away from a person who is NOT living up to what you want in life! You are expecting him to be something that he is not and cannot be---he has demonstrated this over and over!



Both of you have ';unhealthy'; communication patterns (I told him to go ahead and steal it if he wanted to get beat up.';)



Believe me you do not want a man who is currently living with mommy and daddy and has a pizza delivery job---you think---think he may have some form of social anxiety that's preventing him from getting a real job, he's super smart and has his degree).



IF you ask him to move in with you----you will be his ';next mommy and daddy'; and that is NOT a healthy relationship.



You state: '; I feel like I am living my life in angst and part of me is angry with him for leading me on and not giving me a definitive time line or move in date.'; Let's give him the benefit of a doubt: ';you've gone along for the ride also, the fact is that you have grown past --who and what he is and he is NOT willing to change.'; ....Stop totally blaming him--



Your choice----move on now...or invest another two years into ...it.



You now know the facts about him....and if you don't change the situation....then two years from now there should be no complaining about ----';how he is not living up to his potential'; etc.My boyfriend is driving me crazy and I don't know what to do?
Dump him
dump him