How did you get over the man you loved and how long did it take? Did I do the right thing?

I'm in love but it's just not going to work out. I'm 23 and he's 40 and although we have spent a wonderful year together I had to face facts: We want different things out of life. I broke everything off on Saturday and it was the hardest thing I ever had to do.



I feel like I'm not going to be strong enough to go through with this because of how I feel about him and especially since he did nothing wrong. I just keep telling myself that this was the right thing to do. It will be easier now than five years from now.



Give me some advice Yahoo! friends, please. How do I get over this? How do I stop myself from calling him? What do I do if he shows up on my doorstep? How long will this hurt?



Did I do the right thing?How did you get over the man you loved and how long did it take? Did I do the right thing?
You are still young, with a lot of loves to experience and learn from. Please use this time to be happy and have fun!! Don't worry, this will not be your last relationship. It sounds to me like you made the right decision. Always trust your gut, even if it is telling you to do something that seems painful. In the future, you would have resented him...your young, you would have felt trapped.



In terms of the pain, stay busy!! Call and reconnect with friends and family. Go out, party, get involved in some kind of social group...maybe you have some goals you can focus on. Put all that energy (you missing him, the pain, wanting to call) into you. Heal you. And trust me TIME will be your best friend. It won't let you down. It will all get better in time.



And date!!! Date as much as you can stand:) Have fun!How did you get over the man you loved and how long did it take? Did I do the right thing?
Well you know it will hurt for a while ...but if you feel that bad maybe you were ment to be together
yes u did ... go out with your friends meet new people and guys closer to your age ... if that dosne't work you still have his number
Listen to a combination of heart and mind, if you truly don't think it will work out between you just focus on bettering your life withtout any relationships for a while and things will get better, time heals all and you had your reasons.
You can hurt forever. There's no advice. You did what you thought was right. You'll find out eventually if you did the right thing. Breaking up has a grieving period, we all go thru it. There's no magic pill to make it go away!
Hey honey, if you don't feel totally 100% confident and comfortable, then you did the right thing of breaking things off with him.



I had to go through the same thing. It was no doubt very hard to forget about a guy.



I may be repeating what everyone else's saying, but try to just be friends. You'll find the relationship between you two have might be better that way. If not, that's fine too. Try to move on, keep yourself busy and I am so sure there are many more good guys waiting for you.
well it took me like 7 months to get over my ex but u no its kind of relieving after ur all over it..and only u can no if u did the right thing..do u think u did? if u do then its right
i went and hung out with friends and just had fun. it took along time for me to get over him but when i did i went and found me someone who is the most sweetest guy i have ever meet. he treats me alot better then my ex and is completly honest with me. but yah i say u did the right thing. after all with the age difference it would have never worked b/c ur young and just starting out in life and he's well old and is starting to finish his. in time u will u just have to keep telling ur self that u did the right thing and go find u someone ur own age. remember that there is more fish out in the sea just waitng to be caught.
If you feel it was the right thing to do, then it was the right thing to do. I got out of a 2 year relationship about 3 months ago. You will come to realize that what you did was for the better. My ex broke it off with me, I called him every single day for a month straight asking how I could change to make him happy. I had to go to threpy, take anti depressants, never be left alone, anything. It took about a month for me to get over it. Butin that time I began to reailze every single day that passed that everything that he shared (good times and bad) was all a learning experience. I am now in another relationship and could not be happier. Erase your ex's number, forget his e-mail, put aside( dont throw anything out) everything that reminds you of him, and just cry. It took me losing my best friend of 2 years to get through the whole thing. I don't know if I was any help to you what so ever, but just hang in there. Let your heart make decisions, usually it leads you down the right path.
i think i can relate.

I am 33 and the g/f was 42.

We were together for 11 years.

She had two boys. They are like my own.

We never got married... and now... the truth is coming out. She always wanted something different from me. I always thought she wanted the same thing when i certain things made me realize otherwise, thus i quesitoned her straight up.

Moral of the story? Your needs are different from his. He might be misleading you, just to get the things he needs from you. He was probably married before, and doesn't want to have wife and kids with you later. (even if he says so, its unlikely) What you are doing is probably the right thing, probably because your subconscience mind is saying so.

(me on the other hand, i felt sorry for my g/f and two boys, i wanted to take care of them, now that they are all grown up, there isn't a need for me)

Now, 1/3 of my life spend with her, i have nothing.

I am back to where i was when i was 22. single and looking. If you know what you want... i can assure you, you will find the means to achieve it. You will do the right things to move fwd. If you need time away to make it easier, do it. Go away for a while, make yourself unavailable. He should respect your needs.... if he loves you. not because he wants to make love to you.

good luck
It will take time for you to get over someone that you love. Just remember it takes time. To get over him , do things you love. Take up a hobby or go out with your girlfriends. Erase his number from your phone. Just keep your self busy so you can forget him. Try not to bored b/c you will slip and call him. Just try to be strong. If he is at your door step don't answer it or if you do, ';say i love you, but i can't see you at all, please respect my decision';.';I know this is a hard time for the both of us.'; If you guys want different things in life and you weren't happy, then you did a very good thing for self. If you would of stayed and stayed unhappy then you would of been selfish towards your self. You are young you have your whole life ahead of you. There are things you probably didn't do that he probably experienced. I loved my ex boyfriend and he treated me so bad and he broke up with me and i just went out with My Friends went shopping,that's a good therapy lol It took a few months but i had to be strong for my self :). Please stay strong, you will be okay. Keep your head up :) I am hear for you %26lt;3
You made a decision to break off based on the fact that both of you wanted different things out of life. It now sounds like you kind of regretted it.



Well, you chose %26amp; decided that what you both wanted individually was more important than the relationship. There was no compromise. Unless one or both of you decide to compromise, it would fail. As long as you are sure it was the right thing to do, best to break it off now than much later when it becomes much much harder.



And yeah, one respondent was right. It really depends on how much he means to you. Time will lessen the pain. But if someone means that much to you, sometimes, you don't ever stop hurting. I'm not saying that's so in your case. Only you will know best when time passes.
you did the right thing girl. it will only hurt for awhile and it is normal that you still have his number and you are still communicating with him. but to help yourself get over the pain, realize that even if there's a saying that age doesn't matter... you wouldn't know that until you're already married.

so what if... it never works out... there wil be big differences we both know that. so darling until you have the time to meet other guys do so... ok.