Sunday, November 21, 2010

Help- husband started smoking weed and now watches TV all day and night and he won't quit?

My husband started smoking weed regularly and I think it changed his personality. ( I don't smoke weed at all and I am against it totally.)He sits on the couch, watches TV all day and night, never wants sex, and hangs out with weed smokers and does chores, but no interest in doing anything fun. I have told him how I feel and that I need to go out once in a while with him and i need some romance. I have tried 'jumping' him, but then it just turns in to really bad sex because he acts as if he is just going through the motions and not into it and sex 'is too much work' for him. He would rather just watch a porn and play with him self. Anyhow, he wasn't like this when we met. he isn't the man I fell in love anymore. The man I fell in love with was vibrant, caring, loving. Now he seems disinterested, boring, doesn't do a single little thing to make me happy and just into pleasing him self. It hurts so much and I cry all the time. I have talked to him about all this and begged him to stop smoking weed and sometimes it turns into me yelling and him saying 'Just go out then if you want to go out.' The worst part is tonight. He said that I just can't accept him for who he is and i am trying to change him and that he was like this when we met. (He wasn't like this when we met and he isn't the man I fell in love with as I mentioned before. I really miss the vibrant man he was. Is the weed making him like this? Is it something else?) he's been like this for three years now and I have known him four. I keep thinking the man I love will be back. But now, I don't think he will ever come back. I don't think he will ever stop smoking weed. It saddens me. I want to divorce him. But then, I keep thinking of the wonderful man I met and maybe he will be back some day. He blames me for ruining our relationship with nagging and yelling and not accepting who he is. I can't even tell him how I feel. He just gets angry and says I am trying to change him. Help. What do I do? Can I get him to stop smoking weed or is our relationship over?Help- husband started smoking weed and now watches TV all day and night and he won't quit?
wow! So you say you are against it, but you allow it? That doesn't make since. And so you knew him for a year, and then he started smoking weed. Now he's been this way for 3 years? And why are you living like this? I'm just confused... don't you understand that he loves weed more than you? I mean he's got to if he can't give it up. Your not going to be able to make him stop. And I would have left him after the first year he was like this.Help- husband started smoking weed and now watches TV all day and night and he won't quit?
Pack up and leave.

Smoking changed him. And I'm pretty sure now he's gone.

Don't live with the fact you're wasting your time on someone who won't even pay attention to you or even do anything.
Smoking weed can alter your mood. Try to force him into getting help. Let him know that you will not live like this anymore and he needs to get help. If it has been three years he has an addiction. From what you wrote it sounds like everything changed when he started smoking weed. So, I would say that is the whole problem.
Your husband chooses to smoke weed but the weed doesn't always change people it depends on who they were to start. I have been around many people who smoke including my husband and it hasn't changed them. If your husband doesn't want to make the relationship work then divorce him, you NEED to be happy!
This is a classic example of why pot smoking is wrong. It destroys all motivation in an addict. And yes, pot is addictive - psychologically addictive.



Unless he wants to quit being a dope with dope, there is nothing you can do. You cannot force him, because he will just do it behind your back. He has to want to quit. Based on your story, I doubt that will happen anytime soon.



He needs to grow up. And you need to explore other options.



I used to smoke that crap and it made me horny as hell.



EDIT- Weed is from the earth so that makes it OK? Great logic. Cyanide and arsenic are also both from the Earth. So please, jerzeybizzoy15 , feel free to ingest those also.
He's doing this because you let him......for all your complaining and whining, you eventually give in .

Tell him it's me or the weed....and if he won't give up weed, make good on your promise and pack your bags and just leave, do you have friends you can stay with for a while?

It may just be the shock he needs to make him realize that your serious.
Weed is an addiction, and a downer. It has definitly changed his personality and although you love him very much, if he doesnt love you enough to put your feelings and relationship before his weed, then you will never be able to be happy. I am not saying leave right away, but make him understand that it is hurting you and you do love him for the man hi is but not for the man that the weed has made him become. If this changes nothing then i would say leave, because your on a long road to nowhere.
Call the police.



Have him removed from the house. File a restraining order, and dump his as$$.





He's not coming back even though he's there.



And for the person that said leave...make him move out of the house, PERIOD.



Establish your legal rights before you go to court.
Leave him (you don't have to divorce him... yet). Sometimes they just need to be scared into thinking that your gone to straighten them right out. You only have one life - live it to the fullest. You can't depend on someone to make you happy - you have to make your self happy. I think that you know in your heart and mind the right thing to do. No regrets...
You need to blame the man, not the weed. Many people are interesting and productive partners and lovers while smoking up every once in a while.



Realise that this is your husband making these choices - not his marijuana. ...and divorce him.
well your husband wasnt born with weed he jst uses it and weed can change you i totally undestand i kinda have the same problem bt i told him that im gona stick with him and help him get over that. also wat u can do is get counseling cuz it seems it has affected a lot your relashionship
Cheating and drug use are perfectly acceptable reasons to get a divorce in my opinion. I would give the spouse an ultimatum and a bit of time to correct the behavior, or it's the door for them. No future with either sort.
yeah this is unfortunate. not all are affected this way when they smoke pot, i am in fact the exact opposite, but thats another story.





it's very easy to quit smoking pot. i'd suggest taking an out of state vacation for 7-10 days where he wont be able to access marijuana. after 10 days he'll have no crave for it. you only get the crave when you start to smoke more regularly. if you stop smoking for a while the crave goes away.
I feel your pain. Your husband has become a drug addict. Only he can change that. My wife has become a myspace/internet addict. I do everything alone; family events, whatever. It sucks and I know how you feel. You can't change people but you can remove yourself from the situation; and so can I.
it sounds like he might be depressed and has turned to pot to make him relax and feel good. Maybe you should give him an ultimatum. Tell him you can't be with a drug addict and see if he cares enough about you to quit. If not, you might need to try and move on. I hope everything works out either way it goes!
weed is from the earth wats wrong with it?
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