it sounds like he likes computer games more than you.I NEED HELP WITH MY MAN ,DONT KNOW IF HE LOVE ME STILL (IAM A 18 YEAR OLD WIFE )?
You need to pack up and move on with your life. Things are not going to change and will only get worse if you get pregnant. I can voice my reasons for my opinion but will be nice here.. There is more to life then sitting at home with someone who doesn't care about you.
are u even old enough to handle these things?talk to him about this firmly and say what u want from him...if he understands then its fine...but if not ,let go,next time wait until u r old enough
sorry ,if the answer was rude
I think that he won't change and he will play the games instead of being with you like he should be doing. Can you leave him and go stay somewhere else like your family or a friend? That is the best I can suggest to you. He is immature and likes the game more than he does you. Sorry to say that but it appears that way. I think you should talk to him about moving out and tell him why. He is no good for you I don't think. Sorry.
I have to confess up front that I am not a relationship counselor. I'm going to tell you what I think, but I am not a professional. Take my advice with caution, if at all. Use your common sense.
You didn't say how long you've been married, what country you are from, what is expected of women there, or what job he does. Do you have the support of family and friends? Can you talk well with HIS family and friends? More information lets us help you better.
You're not alone. I provide a bunch of links below for more information. Apart from gaming addiction, the six most common causes of the type of problem you've described are, in order:
1) Financial problems.
2) Communication problems.
3) Sexual incompatibility.
4) Depression.
5) Physical tiredness.
6) Homosexuality.
GENERAL ADVICE:
Your description of your own behaviour, 'don't clean up a lot like i use to i just sleep a lot more now to point where so sad i sleep all day', sounds as if you are clinically depressed. If you have access to free counseling, or to government subsidised counseling, do also take advantage of that. If your finances or insurance can afford it, then consider private counseling. If you can't afford either talk to your girlfriends. If you are isolated from them, consider talking to your (or a nearby) priest or minister of religion.
All relationships are extremely hard work. If you intend to make a go of this relationship, you must go back to carrying out your part of the bargain. Are you still the girl who thought he was the man for you above all others for the rest of your life? Physically yes. But you're not acting that way. Not surprisingly, if you suffer from depression. But outward appearance can beget inner states. If you act as if you are not depressed, it will help you feel inside as if you are not depressed. (As a past sufferer from depression myself, I know how true this is- but also how hard it is to put into practiice- and that medication can help a lot.)
If you start acting as the admiring, flirtatious young woman who used to love him, and do chores to care for him, it will remind him of who you are inside- his beloved girlfriend, wife, best friend and companion.
if you were in my country, I'd recommend that you get a job and make him do hgis share of the housework- but that ight not be appropriate for your country and culture. If your social role is restricted to housewife and homemaker, then do it so well that you can take pride in how well you do it.
If you're going to be a wife, put in the hard work. Try and be a super wife, the way you'd love him to be a super husband. Drop little notes in his lunchbox telling him how you love him. Leave a poem on his pillow. Tell him that you notice the things about him that first attracted you to him. E. G. ';You have the cutest smile I've ever seen on any man.';
One technique I found useful in my badly depressed stage was to write out a timetable of what I wanted to do each day. I didn't succeed of course. But writing down what I did achieve, and when, meant i was able to do waht I wanted to do much more than i could have otherwise done.
SPECIFIC ADVICE:
I wrote too much on each of these topics and Yahoo cut my reply short. Look for information on these for yourself. Good luck!
1) Financial: This is THE most common cause of the problems you describe. And he can't tell you about this because he would feel a failure as a provider. But houses always cost more than planned, mortages cost more, taxes go up, vehicles cost more and there are always extra unexpected expenses. Find a way to find out the financial burden on him, and ways to ease it. Consider whether showing him this answer would help him sort that out.
A wife should not have to beg money from her husband to buy something she wants- but she should not make herself an intolerable burden either.
I recommend that you as a family, create a budget covering everything you need as a family. (Grant him his video game addiction as part of the budget, even though you don't have an equivalent interest in the game. You will make it up later if all goes well.)
The incredibly small amount left over after all expenses are accounted for should be shared.
Housekeeping will be a part of it. Always keep a record of what you buy and what it costs. When prices go up you will be able to show him why you need more, without him thinking you are becoming wasteful.
A house and wife are far more expensive than most bachelors ever imagined. The way to stop him thinking ';It'd be cheaper to be a bachelor, live in an apratment and pay for sex'; is to make sure you share with him the things that money can't buy. Love (I don't mean sex), admiration, consideration, romance. (I still don't mean sex) and most valuable to a man, RESPECT.
(Textbooks tell me that men think their work to support themselves and their partner ought to be rated ten times as highly as wives think it should be. Understand this. Give him what he thinks is his due in the currency of respect, and he will again become your love slave.)
Tell him (truthfully) that you want to find a way to earn more money or spend less money because you never want him to think of you as a burden.
ha ha ha ....Selma , thier comin out of the walls!!!!
talk to him about the way you feel but sometimes when you are 18 years old you do things that you look back on later in life and you wonder why did I do that...... You are still growing up seems like you need to move on with your life and maybe seperate for a bit as this might help
I am sorry to hear that you have find yourself locked away in a box without a knob to turn. Being that you are only 18 years old, are you in college? What are you studying to become? How long did you guys date before getting married? It sounds like you need to have a better communication relationship with your husband. Try changing your schedule home. Try looking a look more attractive, wear a new pair of jeans and a sexy top...make-up and perfume. Men love how we take care of ourselfes and hate it when we don't...even if they don't say anything, they do notice it...look pretty for him and inturn you will look into the mirror and see how beatufil you really are inside as well as out and reflect that when he sees you. If he ignores you, don't feed into that negatively, brush it off and stay happy. Smile and ask him does he want a drink...feel the water and try to get his attention but doing things you know will turn him on. Play romantic music and see how that goes...once you get his attention tell him how much you love, respect and desire him....and how you couldn't wait to see him...but before he arrives home, text him little short love messages...you never know but if this doesn't work out, try going to a couselor to help...you guys seems to be caught up in a hole but all couples go thru this and it isn't hard to fix. If the love is there and you two are willig to fight for the marriage, it will fix itself up with some help and hard work. Good luck! But if he doesn't want to make love to you, he does have lover somewhere...Men will never walk away from sex unless he is getting it from somewhere else and that's what he desires and you aren't the one.
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