Tuesday, November 16, 2010

LADIES you'll love these jokes!!?

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, ';What setting do I use on the washing machine?';



';It depends,'; I replied. ';What does it say on your shirt?';



He yelled back, '; University of Oklahoma .';



And they say blondes are dumb...



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A couple is lying in bed. The man says, ';I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.';



The woman replies, ';I'll miss you...';



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';It's just too hot to wear clothes today,'; Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, ';honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?';



';Probably that I married you for your money,'; she replied.







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Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?



A: A rumor



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A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.



The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.



Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands.



The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger...



Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!!



Gotta love that fairy!



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Dear Lord,



I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.



AMEN.



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Q: Why do little boys whine?



A: They are practicing to be men.



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Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?



A: Trustworthy.



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Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?



A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.



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Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet?



A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe.



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Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?



A: Rename the mail folder ';Instruction Manuals';LADIES you'll love these jokes!!?
LOOOL - Thanks for sharing!LADIES you'll love these jokes!!?
Hahaha, love them, thanks for that.



Dear Lord,



I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death.



AMEN.



this one is to be printed and put on the fridge.
Very good 10/10
Why is Lebanon the joke category?
lol... Loved them all... especially the laundry one, the second one and.. ah well, i loved them all...
khaaaaaaaaaaaa so funny!!!!
That's so funny.The laundry one is hilarious.Men can't follow simple instructions and they do give horrible directions.

If a man tells you to go left,you might consider looking right first.
A couple is lying in bed. The man says, ';I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.';



The woman replies, ';I'll miss you...';





Gotta love this one :D



Thanks, bas hey, dont go stealing my thunder (as toushka says) and start posting jokes, this is my fame in here :D
HA HA HA



Great Jokes...thanks



My favorite is the 2nd one
the one with the old man and lady is amazing, txs for this lovely jokes.
LOL fantastic!



Q: What do you call a handcuffed man?



A: Trustworthy



Toushka
it seems that u have a bad experiance with men
LOL!!Thanks :-) that was great!!The laundry one is my favorite and i love the lawnmowing one as well because it applies so much to Lebanon (or most arab countries)..



HOWEVER; in defense to all (or most men on earth)...i am intellectual, been brought up around the world,and said to be very charming and somewhat handsome,i am very sensitive and sometimes understand women more than they understand themselves,i'm an amazing cook,i love to sing (have a great voice),am always caring and sensitive to everyones needs around me,i'm can be funny (at least have a big sense of humor),love watching chick flicks and have been told that i am great in bed!!



Beleive me...I'm not a rumor ;p

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