How can a ';love shy'; man get the girl of his dreams?

I am a love shy man, I am 42 years old and have never had a proper relationship with a woman. I do have a close female friend who I have know for about 12 years. We met when we work together while she was a student and I worked in the shop she had a part time job in. She was 19 at the time and I was 30. Normally I have felt very nervous around women and unable to talk to them but with her it was different and we became friends. Admittedly I felt more than friendship for her but as she was seriously involved with another man at the time I put those feelings to the side and in a way it also took the pressure off, knowing that there would be nothing more between us. After she finished college she moved away but we kept in touch she would visit me once or twice a year and we often spoke on the phone or played chess online! All this time she was with the same man and it seemed that they would always be together.

However in the past year the relationship has ended amicably as he has taken a job over seas and she is returning to study. She will be visiting me again for the first time since she and her partner split next month and I'm already feeling nervous, it feels like all these feelings I have repressed for so long are bubbling up and taking over. I want to much to be more than a friend to her and yet I'm terrified that she will reject me. Even just talking to her on the phone recently has left me a gibbering wreck.



What can I do to test the waters with her without scaring her off or losing her friendship?



Perhaps I can get some more mature advice in this section then that which I recieved in singles and dating.



Note: If you don't understand love shyness pls see this link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love-shynessHow can a ';love shy'; man get the girl of his dreams?
aww you poor thing. If I was you I would just explain that you are shy %26amp; a bit nervous . I mean, there nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about



Iam the same if I see a man I like!! God!! I almost combust if I see hot firemen!!How can a ';love shy'; man get the girl of his dreams?
i dont think you should, half your life is over right?
You should consider the possibility that you are gay or bisexual. I know. Just the thought of it makes you cringe. But you will be happier if you honor who you really instead of pretending you are not. Good luck. I wish you happiness and fulfillment.
just go for it, women hate weak gibbering men, grab her and s hag the @ss off her!!

Was that mature enough?
I was 40 before I found my love. It seemed like the biggest risk at the time but really it was nothing.

As she has kept in touch with you for so long then I think she would understand if you made the mistake of thinking there was more to the relationship than ';just good friends';

So tell her about how you feel about her.

It might mean a change in your relationship. But if you don't find out now when will you? Alternatively, live your love life as a fantasy.
Ay least you have a real good head start knowing her for so long!



Just be happy, we women feel confidence and happiness, and it is a turn on. In a sens don't make it TOO obvious. You will feel the chemistry if it is there, you can't miss it.



Good luck! Hope it works out for you
You have to be careful here. Do you think she was interested? Did she give you any signals before? You also have to give her time to get over her ex.



I would start by talking more and spending time together. It wont take long for you to know if she interested by her body language and the things that she says. I would talk about relationships and express my views to her. Tell her what you are looking for and what you can offer to someone. Dont do this in a way that will make her feel pressured or that your directing this toward her.



Who knows maybe your the reason her marriage didnt work out. Maybe she realized that she loved you and not her husband. If this isnt the case then no harm is done just by your conversations with her. It may even make your friendship better by being able to discuss things like relationships.



Go slow cause shes healing from her ex anyway. Being there for someone during these difficult times means and if nothing else it will show her how much you care for her.



When she comes to visit you this time, she may be coming to tell you how she feels and make a move on you! I wish you the best and I will pray for you to finally get your girl.
Listen you have to be upfront and honest with her. She apparently feels enough for you to have stayed in touch for so long. She is probably just as scared or nervous to. You will be fine just remember to breathe. I just recently met the love of my life and both were nervous. It was his little nervous laugh that grabbed me. Go for it.
i dont get men like you very strange