How do you stay away from a no good man? How do you keep yourself from wanting to be with him?

I had been with my boyfriend for a year and half. We have one son together and I have have a daughter from a previous relationship. I am still in love with him but he disrespects, play mind games, called me names in the past(I have done that to him also). He says that he is not ready for marriage because now I have a job and I am in school. Yet when I was play the house wife and staying at home with the children he was then.

I have moved back and forth. I have left the man about 3 times. I was afraid when I left in January of this year that physical abuse was going to start. He likes to control things and when he can't gets angry. Even now we have joint custody and he is trying to control that whole situation.

What should I do? How do I go about rectifying this situation and still the adult and not just the injured party?



Help Please!!!!!!!!!!!How do you stay away from a no good man? How do you keep yourself from wanting to be with him?
Okay girl - here we go. Having feelings for a man who is mentally abusive to you, controlling, and you fear will become physically violent is NOT healthy! You are a precious human being and you are to be loved. Really loved. The father of your first child sounds very immature and controlling and the problems you have with him now will just get worse. Please remove yourself from him in whatever way you can.

Seeing that you have joint custody, I'm sure that is hard to do because you have to interact with him regularly. There are some options there. I know the D.A.'s office does provide a neutral drop off/pick up place. Check with your local D.A. If you have a child custody agreement, he needs to honor those terms. If he is not, then go back to court. Get a representative to advise you on what you can do. Is it best to have sole custody? You will have to answer that.

What about the other man? How does he treat you? If he treats you well, then stay with him. If he has some of the same issues as #1, you are better off alone.

I am a single mom and am living it day to day. You don't need the man, all you need is God. Look for a single moms ministry to help you spiritually, emotionally, financially, with the daycare, employment, and education. I don't want to sound preachy, but I just want you to know that you are a special person that is worthy of great love and has been give a precious gift of two children to raise. How do you want them to turn out? Are they going to be responsible and respected or trouble-makers and prisonmates? If you make your children's well-being the focus of your decision-making, you will always make the right choice. It isn't easy and it doesn't always feel good, but it will - way down the line - when they say thank you. And when you do make decisions made on your children, the greatest guy ever will come along and treat you like the queen you are. Have faith! You are loved.How do you stay away from a no good man? How do you keep yourself from wanting to be with him?
Start fxxxing someone new. That always helps the transition.
You are with a control freak! I had the same thing happen to me. He doesn't want you, but doesn't want anyone else to have you if he's like the jerk that I was with! I really can't understand why you would be in love with someone like this!

As long as you are with him, your life will be hell! Is this what you want for yourself???

As an old friend always said to me: ';Set your sites higher!'; You can find a man who will treat you better! But do some soul searching first, to make sure you get it that you will be better off without the jerk!
How can you really be in love with someone like this or is it

just the idea of love via good sex? Big difference. You have

two children that deserve a well balanced mother who puts

those children first above everything. I would distance myself

as far away as possible from this man and ask the courts

to perscribe legal visitation rights for him with restrictions.

Move on and look forward to a life of self fulfillment with

positive people around you. It will determine what kind

of people your children will be. When he comes to pick

up your son, meet him at the door and try to have as little

interaction with him as possible until you feel strong enough

to deal with him directly. Try some self assertiveness

training. There are good people around for this. Check

it out with a marriage and family counsellor.