Is the man I love becoming a heartless, careless mean TOOL ? :( Run away sceaming ?

Is my bf just a player taking me for granted suddenly ? Red Flags he doesnt give a crap ?


I've been dating my boyfriend for nearly 9 months


everything was going well until mid October.


there was the slightest shift in attitude towards me.


I recently found out the following from a mutual friend who showed me my boyfriend's email to him.


(the friend has known me for 6 years and my bf for only 1 year , so his loyalty lies with me)


my bf emailed him in mid october that Im cool , but that i was trying to 'wrangle' him in.





my bf also disclosed in another email that a few girls from his past had made contact.


one girl he said was just a friend, but that she was an 'attractive Russian' ... he joked how the girl must be crushing on him because she compared him to Edward Cullen in twilight via a text.


he said the 'stars aligned' and she is a good friend... hmm.





next up two girls who had left him previously for their ex bfs came back and started making contact with him again.


1 is rather weird and no threat. the other girl though is a super rich and thin, attractive lawyer. major threat.





anyway our mutual friend said he felt guilty with all this information after he saw a photo of me on facebook with my boyfriend and thought i looked 'sad and alone' in the pic.


I DONT know what do with this knowledge I m now privy to.





Anyway, I'm afraid his change in behavior coincides perfectly with these other women coming back into his life.


he used to refer to me as a charming lovely French girl who likes to frolic.


When we were talking the other night I referred to myself as that.


He was mean and said oh yes there are girls like that but what about you.


He then said he was being funny, but it hurt.





Other things:


- Im a redhead and he now keeps calling me a 'crazy redhead' lately even though Ive told him several times not to.


- the only time he complimented me recently was to write in my birthday card that Im a good nurse when he was sick and that I made good thai food.


he did take me out to a nice birthday dinner and the waiters sung happy birthday in portguese to me so that gave me hope... but..


- when we're apart he no longer returns any affection in emails and on the phone he talks about himself.


- i havent seen him in nearly two weeks.


we're only 2 hours away from each other until i move.


he has two cars.


when he called last night i finally teased him about not inviting me down. he said oh i said im so busy with work. (yes during the week.)


he then added the whole 'crazy redhead' quip a couple of times into our conversation.


-when we watch tv or look at the computer together i notice he has started to comment on chicks he finds hot. he'll say look 'boobies' or wow she's hot im starting to feel sort of fuzzy inside (what he says when he's turned on)


he knows that bothers me but hasnt stopped.


Do I confront him or leave ?Is the man I love becoming a heartless, careless mean TOOL ? :( Run away sceaming ?
I';m going through this exact same thing with my husband of one year, and sadly, yes, that is exactly how it starts and unless you say something right now and stand up for yourself, and let him know you've had enough of this behavior and you will not tolerate it, it will not get any better, but I promise it can, and will, get much worse. So much of what you said just paints a picture of my husbands actions when we started to grow apart and he got this whole '; I could care less'; attitude and started making mean ';jokes'; etc...now, we're to the point that I say I love you, he say's ';yea you'd better'; and hangs up - but, you know the deal - its only a ';joke';. He's overseas and when we talk I listen to him talk about what he done all day as long as he wants, but if I try to talk about my day - every single time, he cuts me off and says ';Oh umm...I'm gonna go take a shower, call ya back later';. Click. Don't hear from him for 2 or 3 days, and it's not bc he's too busy too call home. I could go on forever but the point is, if you want to salvage this relationship, you've got to say something NOW, before you're in my position where i'm begining to think it's too late and we're too far gone to get back to where we were. No girl deserves to be treated this way, and to feel un-wanted, un attractive, and wondering if the man she loves is liable to get up and leave her anytime - you stay worried, stressed, your self esteem and confidence and slowly decreasing, and pretty soon, you won't have any at all. You'll become so depressed you'll be absolutely miserable, and you'll feel worthless - trust me, I know. As I said, he is totally in the wrong and should never have made you feel this way, but opposed to just leaving him, since you love him and just want him to be the caring, supportive sweet guy he was, sit him down and talk to him and make him hear you. Be firm with him, and let him know how badly he has hurt you, and that you're done with it. Tell him this bs ends now, and that you want to be with him and you love him, and if he IS just ';joking';, he needs to save those jokes for his guy friends, bc you can't handle them. Let him know that you don't expect it to chance completely overnight, but that if he doesn't start making an effort and improving, that you're leaving, that you deserve better and you will find better - that you just want the man you fell in love with back. As for the other girls? If you feel threatened, tell him. If he loves and respects you he'll either stop communicating with her, or give you the chance to meet her and not sneak to talk/email her but be up front and honest about EVERYTHING so that you can finally be at ease and not have to stress everyday wondering about this stuff! Then, of course if he doesn't change or shows no signs of improvment after saying he will, don't give him more chances, simply back up and leave. He will wake up one day and come to his senses and realize that he let a great person who truly loved him go, and he'll be the one who feels like sh!t then. Good Luck!Is the man I love becoming a heartless, careless mean TOOL ? :( Run away sceaming ?
leave him he's a jerk, and you obviously deserve better. find someone who completes you and don't settle for anything less
wake away
Oh gosh.





For your own sake, please just get it over with and tell him it's done.





I know I'm in no position to tell you what to do, but he sounds like a total jackass and any girl deserves better than that.





He sounds like a pig, and very immature.





I wouldn't trust him one bit if I were you.





Please contact me. I know you don't know me, but I feel like I have to say something. I can't just sit here typing away while you go through that, no one should have to. I know gys can be jerks and I hate to see other girls become victims to that.





My email is dianamaedessy@yahoo.com
follow your heart, but before leaving him act like you dont care, and let him come to you, he will and when he thinks hes losing you he will change his manners and when he does it, tell him how much you like when he is like that and be sweet








help with mine pls


http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;鈥?/a>
I would just leave, if he really loves you %26amp; is sorry for his behaviour, he'll figure out why you left %26amp; come after you,. . . but chances are he won't, either one. And that is when you need to be strong %26amp; look inside yourself for the power to stand on your own two feet %26amp; not look back. And that is also when you take the opportunity to look around you at the beautiful world we live in %26amp; be grateful just to be a part of it, not thinking how sad you are or lonely or depressed, or any of those worthless things, but telling yourself every day that it really is good to be alive. You will meet someone else, and having a good attitude towards yourself %26amp; towards life itself can only hurry this in happening!!