i feel suicidal majorly, i have overdosed before and its getting that way now, i have seen a doc,but a doc cant heal a broken heart,and never will, i deep down know i will never get over her,shes amazing, i keep getting thoughts of another man kissing, cuddling,holding . ******* her etc she has an amazing body and is beautiful so any man is lucky to have her.... and holding cuddling , going on holidays etc with my daughter, i cannot handle these thougths and want to die, i really do.... i have written the letters and got the pills,its just a matter of time, im tryin so hard to fight back, trying to fight for my daughters sake,but its unsuccessful everytime,she lives in same town and i have to see her to swap the baby over,so im going to see her with another man eventually, its as if she has a split personality,she suffers from depression,so do i....
i just dont understand we had small row,then she left while i was at work, says she stopped loving me in that row,surely if u love sum1 u cant just stop like that,i know i cant,one week b4 she was trying on wedding dresses, thens he went back to try them on again with her mum,its a big step taking your mum with you,im confused????????? we had sex the night before twice, why???? she definately is not coming back i know that, shes so cold towards me now, no effort even as friends, all she cares about now is her college course , our baby and going drinking in the pub , so it wont be long before she gets someone else....
I NEED HELP,AND FAST ITS KILLING ME INSIDE, I HAVENT EATEN N HARDLY SLEPT IN 2 WEEKS,CANT LEAVE THE HOUSE OR ANYTHING....
I REALLY HOPE TO GET SOME ADVICE FROM SOMEONE OUT THERE,IT WILL BE APPRECIATED
MANY THANKS FOR READING THIS
LEE
.P.S. i was working days n nights to provide for my family, holidays trips,bills shopping etc etc,i cleaned cooked helped with baby,. i was not a slob of a father....How do i cope when my ex gets another man?? im still in love with her so much always will be?????? PLZ HELP?
killing yourself is defo not the way to go here think of that little girl of yours as you say above you are not a slob of a father, do you want to be known as the selfish weak one who didn't stick around to see her first day at school, walk her down the aisle or be the proudest dad ever at her achievements in life? she will grow up having that loss of her proper dad being there to be a shoulder to cry on, to laugh with, to go to when she needs you most. do you want her to miss all this and do you want to give up all that? i'm so sad at your story firstly you mention that your ex was easy in past whats this got to do with your relationship if you don't trust her you lose that persons love and the fact your mom cheated this is not your ex's fault but you have prob brought this up many times and drove her mad. not having a go as you sound like you do so much for your family and love this woman immensely but bottom line if you cant trust you cant love. take baby steps here trust me she wont be looking to jump into another relationship so quick show her you have changed and don't put on her that you want to kill yourself this is probably why she is so cold that is a lot to put on someone. you need to look after yourself for the sake of that little girl and make sure you are there whenever she needs you. it is hard to split from the one you love but you need to deal with your trust issues and start showing this woman that you trust her and love her for who she is not who she was... good luck and live everyday for your little girl please.How do i cope when my ex gets another man?? im still in love with her so much always will be?????? PLZ HELP?
i forgot to say most times i wanted a hug, a kiss, or sex i had to ask for it,for well over a year,,,, she hardly cuddles me in bed unless i asked all the time,then it was a 2minute cuddle,,,, i miss her so so much, i just CANNOT handle these thougths,thanks to every1 for there kind messages,
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as for that carry on bloke, ur a heartless tw*t, obviosly never been in this situation, some men have true feelings, u obviously dont,i hope one day you will feel the hurt im feeling right now......
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If the relationship was good and successful she would not have left. Based on what you wrote, it was probably hell living with you. Clearly the many negatives outweighed the few positives. She is right to leave.
You wrote: ';i will admit i was a little controlling, sometimes nasty verbally,when tired/giving up smoking etc.... i have a trust problem,due to the fact she had many people before me,and was easy, and that another ex cheated on me b4 her,plus my mum cheated when i was growing up, so i have a trust problem,not through choice...';
Next time, try to treat women better if you want them to stay around for the long haul.
If one individual within a relationship has decided to emotionally check out; there is nothing you can do but accept reality and move forward in your own life. Accept the reality that it is over. And then move forward in the healing process of your own life. Work diligently to maintain positive and healthy communication between the two of you only as it relates to the child. Most importantly for the well being of the child. Good luck
Hun, no broken heart is ever easy, most of us have been through the exact same thing, and it can be so very painful, enough to make one want to end it. You need serious intervention and you get that from first calling a suicidal hot line number listed in your local telephone directory. When one suffers from a broken heart it brings a view of the world full of sadness and comes with it a feeling of hopelessness. First of all, you are loving this girl and basing her value mainly on her appearance which is a mistake that can blind you to the real truth. The fact remains, that she simply did not have a loving heart, not enough to be there for you, to care for you the way you cared for her. Infact I feel she felt the control in the relationship and this caused you anxiety and insecurity which comes with trying to be controlling. You need to fix yourself. Love should not hurt this way. Love should make you feel good about yourself, safe and secure. What you had with her was not true love. I know you are unable to see this now and feel that I simply do not understand. I have been in your shoes times before and learned from it. Now, if I look back on my heartbreaks I realize the persons that broke my heart did not really love me. I am now happily married and feel loved. The experience that comes from feeling loved is like no other. So hun, you truly did not lose much, in your heart you feel let down, rejected and alone, these feelings will go away. You need to see that it is not normal to want to die, it is normal to feel that you want to, but not to actually want to. You need help and I do hope you get it before you do something harmful to yourself. Love yourself enough to get the help you so need. My heart goes out to you and I extend a hug to you! Take care %26amp; God Bless!
Ok take this down a notch. No killing yourself - you have a child so that option is off the table for you my friend.
I understand how you hate how she sees only the negatives. It's hard to see the positives when the negatives are so big. You have to get the negatives under control. If you don't want to do counseling then at the very least go pick up a book that address your issues AND READ IT. You have to control yourself.
Options....we woman like options. I would tell her that you are always there for her and that she can come to you if she has any problems. If she does come to you with a concern - listen. Ask her if she really wants your help/advise. The more patient and understanding - the more likely she'll want to work on a relationship with you.
Always be a good dad. Nothing is more alluring than a man who loves to be with his kids. My husband is awesome with our kids and that is more powerful than any negative he has.
Even if she is seeing someone - just be patient. You wont win any brownie points by being hostile. In fact, you're likely to become their joke if you act like that.
You are going through a really tough time right now, maybe the worst kind of pain, and when you are in a state like that, it is difficult to see clearly.
When you are hanging onto someone so tight it is hard to let go. When you need happy outward circumstances and are relying on other people to make you feel happy inside, then loss is really painful. But life will always involve pain and loss - peace and happiness have to come from within. Right now that sounds ridiculous to you, I am sure - but its better to hold all things loosely - accept the good with the bad.
My best advice during times of great despair - talk to God about it. Realize that all things happen for a reason and that life cannot always be happy times. Be grateful for all that you do have, learn from painful experiences, let yourself grieve - don't pretend to be happy when you are not. Time will heal, and we can't live in the past - life is wonderful (though it is hard to see that right now) and is so worth living! Things change in an instant and we have to be able to change with it. Good times will come again, you will see.
Maybe you should read what you have written and think about everything.
Everyone makes 'Choices' what has happened to her or you in the past can't be changed, however you can make a choice to change how you think about it, which then changes how you behave..........however if you prefer to live and behave like this then you wouldn't want to change how you think as that is uncomfortable, but what is better, some uncomfortable feelings for a while then a new fresh start with you leaving the past behind and looking forward?
So getting pills ready to kill yourself, yet you love your daughter and live for her? I am just hoping this is servere confusion, shock, sadness, hurt and you are not serious but venting ( which is OK)
You have a beautiful daughter who you say you love, she needs you to be strong and be her Daddy, to come to when she is older and fed up with Mum so she can moan to you and you can put your arms around her and tell her you will have a word with Mum, you need to meet her boyfriends to see if they are right for her, give her away at her wedding and be a proud grand dad..think on!
It was not the small row why she left it was that which tipped her over the edge to go, stop beating yourself up, you can only do soething about how you feel, you really can't make her love you or come back to you and the more you are behaving like this the more it confirms to her she did the right thing in going..............you need to 'catch yourself on' and think about what is important to you right now, your mental health and your daughter............so start with you, doctor, counsellor, mental health counselling,get out there with friends you trust, go take a night school class, keep busy, start taking exercise, swimming, walking whatever you need to do, get organised and do it.
Think of your daughter and who she needs..........a strong daddy who loves her.Make sure you think about your childs financial needs as in child support.
I do understand completely what you are going through...been there, so I do know you can get through the other side, with strength of mind and hard work............you will do it and be a better person for it. Good luck, sending you hugs
You need to stop thinking about yourself for a second and consider what is good for her. You admitted yourself that you were controlling, verbally aggressive, and didn't trust her. What girl in her right mind would want to go back to something like that? Try to think about it from her point of view. Doesn't she deserve somebody who will always treat her with love, respect, and kindness? You shouldn't try to deny her that. Stop obsessing over her and try to work on making your own life better. Try to be a good role model for your daughter. Look forward to a new future, and never look back.
If you are feeling depressed and suicidal, talk to your doctor. That is a mental issue. You may need some real professional help so you can learn to cope with things in a normal way. Don't be afraid to ask for it. Good luck! :-)
i think any girl would be lucky to have such a passionate, caring man like you. you said she suffers from depression, that's why she sees the negatives. however, you also said you were controlling. i think she just needs space. the more you reach out to her and express yourself to her, the more she will push herself away from you. if your always there, shell have no time to see whats shes missing. if you both suffer from depression, each of you will remind each other of this. take time out for yourself and your child. give her space to reevaluate what you have. x xx
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